Every time I go outside to my yard, my elderly neighbor comes out and tries to talk with me. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I go out to relax and do gardening and yard work, and his presence makes me increasingly anxious & leaves me feeling particularly uncomfortable/unsafe.

He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.

His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god… I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He’ll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I’m trying to talk to my kid.

One thing I know is this: do not piss off your neighbors, because, chances are, you will probably be living next to them for a looooong time.

What can I do? I just want peace without feeling like I’m being accosted.

  • @[email protected]English
    5•5 months ago

    You had me until

    or if you want to turn it around on his wife

    The woman is clearly having a hard enough time, and what exactly is “it” OP should be “turning around” on her? Her husband’s slow and agonizing decline which she has no control over and the strain it is already having on both their lives? Who even thinks like that?

    • @makeshiftreaperEnglish
      8•5 months ago

      He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.

      His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god… I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He’ll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I’m trying to talk to my kid.

      That’s behavior his wife is clearly ignoring, and that’s what I’m suggesting he turn around on her. OP has no obligation to this man and the woman who does clearly is failing at hers. Is it sad what’s happening to these people? Yes. That doesn’t make it OP’s problem to deal with. Likewise, dementia patients often become violent and it sounds like this is an already angry man, why should OP put himself or his family in the middle of it? How will that end well for them?

      I’ll also point out I had one of the kinder solutions posted in this thread between “ignore him”, “build a big ass fence”, “fake an infectious disease”, and “cartoon violence”. I made a kind suggestion and offered a slightly less kind way to use it to make this less of a problem for OP