Not need to be attack-y, they quite legitimately might not have had that on the top of mind when they asked.
They weren’t judgemental or aggressive, they just said they didn’t know.
It’s okay to not know something and ask.
If it wasn’t your intent to come across as judgemental or aggressive, then a tone indicator might serve you well next time. :)
I mean, dude… fundies exist and we can’t deprogram their biases when they’re willing to learn unless we explain it to them. They’ve never been challenged to consider this point of view.
If you just shit on them like they should have always known, they’ll just dig in harder in opposition.
And yeah, sometimes it’s concern trolling but take the bait and let them reel before calling it a hook and then spitting, or they’ll just keep the worm for someone else. And, if they’re genuinely curious, you might make a real difference.
There aren’t hard and fast rules when it comes to sex and gender.
And people should understand that by now. And if they don’t, I see no reason to be sensitive to their feelings on the matter any more than I would any other sort of implicit bigotry.
You can be mad at me if you want; that’s your decision to make. I don’t know what I don’t know, and when I don’t know something I will (in good faith) ask for clarification. It’s how I learn.
And I won’t let people like you deter me from learning, so I shrug off your negativity. Why you feel the need to attack me or otherwise when we — in good faith — are out here trying to be a part of the conversation, I do not know.
Some people are just super sheltered and it’s ok to be part of the lucky ten thousand.
The first time my brother encountered a black person IRL he asked my mother “what’s wrong with his skin?” She didn’t yell at him for his ignorance. She apologized to the man in front of them in line at the grocery store, then explained that skin comes in more colors than “white”. Now, he was like 6 at the time. But still. He was part of the lucky ten thousand that day.
No, there is no excuse. It’s something that people should know and is generally pretty common knowledge.
That has nothing to do with how you act towards people who don’t know who are otherwise well intentioned.
When you react to ignorance with hostility, you don’t teach people not to be ignorant, you teach them not to ask, that it’s better to be confused because people who know are angry and will make you feel bad.
You can’t shame someone into being better. Shame only tells people what not to do. When someone asks a question out of ignorance, reward them with kindness and information. We want people to educate themselves on what they don’t know.
It’s good to be vigilant for ignorance and implicit bias, and it’s better to handle it in a way that sticks.
You want the person you’re informing to say “d’oh! 🤦”, not “I’m sorry. 😔”
Not need to be attack-y, they quite legitimately might not have had that on the top of mind when they asked.
They weren’t judgemental or aggressive, they just said they didn’t know.
It’s okay to not know something and ask.
If it wasn’t your intent to come across as judgemental or aggressive, then a tone indicator might serve you well next time. :)
I disagree that it’s okay to not know that. It’s like not knowing that some black people don’t like fried chicken.
This is 2024. I don’t think there is any excuse at this point to not understand the difference between sex and gender.
I mean, dude… fundies exist and we can’t deprogram their biases when they’re willing to learn unless we explain it to them. They’ve never been challenged to consider this point of view.
If you just shit on them like they should have always known, they’ll just dig in harder in opposition.
And yeah, sometimes it’s concern trolling but take the bait and let them reel before calling it a hook and then spitting, or they’ll just keep the worm for someone else. And, if they’re genuinely curious, you might make a real difference.
Oh there’s plenty of excuses…
Denial is a common one.
Fair play though, gender theory is just a theory.
There aren’t hard and fast rules when it comes to sex and gender.
And people should understand that by now. And if they don’t, I see no reason to be sensitive to their feelings on the matter any more than I would any other sort of implicit bigotry.
You can be mad at me if you want; that’s your decision to make. I don’t know what I don’t know, and when I don’t know something I will (in good faith) ask for clarification. It’s how I learn.
And I won’t let people like you deter me from learning, so I shrug off your negativity. Why you feel the need to attack me or otherwise when we — in good faith — are out here trying to be a part of the conversation, I do not know.
But ignorance works both ways my friend.
Some people are just super sheltered and it’s ok to be part of the lucky ten thousand.
The first time my brother encountered a black person IRL he asked my mother “what’s wrong with his skin?” She didn’t yell at him for his ignorance. She apologized to the man in front of them in line at the grocery store, then explained that skin comes in more colors than “white”. Now, he was like 6 at the time. But still. He was part of the lucky ten thousand that day.
No, there is no excuse. It’s something that people should know and is generally pretty common knowledge.
That has nothing to do with how you act towards people who don’t know who are otherwise well intentioned.
When you react to ignorance with hostility, you don’t teach people not to be ignorant, you teach them not to ask, that it’s better to be confused because people who know are angry and will make you feel bad.
You can’t shame someone into being better. Shame only tells people what not to do. When someone asks a question out of ignorance, reward them with kindness and information. We want people to educate themselves on what they don’t know.
It’s good to be vigilant for ignorance and implicit bias, and it’s better to handle it in a way that sticks.
You want the person you’re informing to say “d’oh! 🤦”, not “I’m sorry. 😔”