Hi all.

I’ll try and be succinct but as I’m sure you all realize that’s often easier said than done.

I don’t feel like I ever hear my fellow ADHDers discuss how negative an experience hyperfocusing can be.

First off, I never feel like I’m ‘enjoying’ myself when I hyperfocus. It feels a lot like I’m dreaming. Time moves weirdly, all my senses go askew, and it never feels like I’m in-control.

Then when the focus fades for whatever reason, I feel exhausted. I usually have a headache from the hours of intent concentration. Oftentimes I haven’t eaten, had a drink or used the toilet. As I start to come out of it I often feel quite confused and borderline hungover.

It gives me such an existential crisis. An activity is either so boring I can’t summon myself to engage with it or it’s so absolutely engrossing that it feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse.

And when I come out of it, to an extent I do feel as if I’ve been consumed. I don’t feel happy or satisfied or fulfilled. I feel tired, confused and uncomfortable.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any advice?

  • sharp sphereEnglish
    12•1 year ago

    It feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse

    Thanks for giving me these words to describe the feeling so well. I don’t feel interested and passionate… I feel consumed and dominated.

    Now that I think about it, lots of words that describe focus have etymologies that feel appropriately sinister. Captivated, enthralled, enraptured, fascinated, bewitched, mesmerized, hooked - all related to being controlled against your will.

    • RiverGhostEnglish
      1•1 year ago

      I hadn’t thought of the etymologies that way. That’s pretty interesting.