Utah is extraordinarily passive aggressive. Home in New York, I was considered tactful with my words. Here in Utah, I’m considered rude.
People raised here, especially Mormons, will lie to your face with no remorse in order to avoid saying any “harsh” words or causing “contention.”
I’ve pretty stopped being tactful and have embraced vulgar honesty. Not to hurt others - I really do care about my roommates and most of my coworkers on my shift - but to make my thoughts so motherfuckingly clear that even a god-damned inbred Mormon pioneer worshipping dumbass can understand.
I’ve heard this called a “West Coast Attitude”, though AFAICT, it seems like the Northeast also has a reputation for not mincing words. Anyway, yeah, I’m a big fan of the West Coast Attitude; you always feel pretty good that you know where you stand with someone. There’s people out here in Cali that fall in love with the south after a little visit and gush about how nice everyone is. I make it a point to tell them that, as someone who lived a good decade or so in the south, I know that 4 times out of five, that niceness is a facade papering over a whole lot of shit they talked about you the second the door hit your ass. In all fairness, there really are some super great people there that genuinely are as nice as they seem, but I found it hard to tell them apart without getting to know them first.
I have a similar experience being from the North and moving to Texas some time ago. At work in the North, I was well spoken, direct, honest, friendly, and kind. In Texas, I spoke my mind too much and wasn’t nice, but was considered a dependable hard worker. The only people that didn’t file HR complaints? Other Northerners.
Culture shock in your own country is a hell of a thing.
Utah is extraordinarily passive aggressive. Home in New York, I was considered tactful with my words. Here in Utah, I’m considered rude.
People raised here, especially Mormons, will lie to your face with no remorse in order to avoid saying any “harsh” words or causing “contention.”
I’ve pretty stopped being tactful and have embraced vulgar honesty. Not to hurt others - I really do care about my roommates and most of my coworkers on my shift - but to make my thoughts so motherfuckingly clear that even a god-damned inbred Mormon pioneer worshipping dumbass can understand.
I’ve heard this called a “West Coast Attitude”, though AFAICT, it seems like the Northeast also has a reputation for not mincing words. Anyway, yeah, I’m a big fan of the West Coast Attitude; you always feel pretty good that you know where you stand with someone. There’s people out here in Cali that fall in love with the south after a little visit and gush about how nice everyone is. I make it a point to tell them that, as someone who lived a good decade or so in the south, I know that 4 times out of five, that niceness is a facade papering over a whole lot of shit they talked about you the second the door hit your ass. In all fairness, there really are some super great people there that genuinely are as nice as they seem, but I found it hard to tell them apart without getting to know them first.
Northeast is direct, but just won’t say anything until less it’s a big problem. Except NY/NJ assholes.
Midwesterners want to talk all the time to everyone, but mostly niceties.
Southerners are talkative and sound nice too, but can be super backhanded about it.
Westerners are more talkative than New Englanders, and blunt like them at the same time.
— Midwesterner who moved to New England 40 years ago, and has family from NC and CA.
I have a similar experience being from the North and moving to Texas some time ago. At work in the North, I was well spoken, direct, honest, friendly, and kind. In Texas, I spoke my mind too much and wasn’t nice, but was considered a dependable hard worker. The only people that didn’t file HR complaints? Other Northerners.
Culture shock in your own country is a hell of a thing.
I call it being “subtle as a sledgehammer.” Makes it a little harder to make long lasting friends, but the ones I have greatly appreciate it.