I’m 40 years old, in a crappy job without prospects despite degrees, and I have 0 friends.
I used to have a grand total of 2 friends before Covid, but then we lost contact. I’ve tried to rekindle, but all effort was onesided so I stopped.
I’m a lifelong spineless people pleaser despite lots of therapy, and the ironic thing is that this turns people off of you instead of having them like you.
At this point I don’t see any reasons to continue trying.
If I had one wish in life, it would be to be a stereotypical asshole with actual self esteem - those are the kinds of people who seem to be anle to reach all of their goals and have others worship the ground they walk on.
But as for me, I’m so turned off by other people in general that I would probably be morbidly amused to read, oh I dunno, that Moscow nuked Kiev (or vive versa), that Jerusalem is burning, or that my hometown was wiped away by a hurricane.
Not to be “edgy”. It’s emotionally debilitating, and to be clear I don’t enjoy/wish for human suffering.
I’ve just become as indifferent to it as the world seems to be to me. Simple tit for tat.
I’m tired. Kinda hoped I wouldn’t wake up from my anaesthesia today. Ah well.
Drugs. Have you tried drugs? Try drugs. /s
Go do something for yourself, by yourself on your next day off, something you would normally never do.
That’s how I found out despite hating big trucks and that sort of culture, I’m mad crazy about Tractor Pulls.
Good luck man.
Tractor pulls sound cool
The lowest rung beginners and top tier Unlimited Modified are the ones I dig.
I’ve been an avid weed smoker since my early 20’s, but I do live in a country where it is 100% illegal and not available medically, so my supply is spotty. Then again, I just had all my teeth removed, so smoking right now would be a very bad idea anyway.