I’m a parenting expert, and I know raising children can be tricky, especially in today’s accelerated, unpredictable, fear-based world. But challenges will be a regular part of their lives, and we must help kids become resilient so they can bounce back from those tough times and handle whatever comes their way.

That’s because each time we rescue, overprotect, or coddle, we send children a harmful message: “We don’t believe you’re capable of doing that alone.” So, kids learn to depend on us to pick up their pieces, and there goes their chance to learn to bounce back.

The very next time you want to swoop in to help — don’t. Instead, step back and subscribe to a new parenting behavior: “Never do for your child what your child can do for themself.”