If you haven’t heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.

Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.

As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.

At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.

The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.

  • cheesepotatoesEnglish
    2•21 days ago

    This doesn’t seem reasonable… If you accept some responsibility, duty, job, whatever, it’s your responsibility to ensure that you take whatever steps are necessary for you to complete that task. It’s not everyone else’s job to babysit you and make sure you actually do the thing you agreed to do.

    I probably just wouldn’t ask you for anything anymore after you burned me the first time and just go with someone else… You might think that’s unfair, but we’ve all got our own problems and my time is better spent going with a more reliable option.

    • @aksdbEnglish
      7•21 days ago

      This doesn’t seem reasonable… If you accept some responsibility

      But … that was the point. “Telling them your boundaries” implies not accepting something you are not up to. My managers know that I am not a good manager myself. I have a lot of qualities, at being a driving force in a project is not among them. So they don’t utilize me for that. Which is good.

      Yes, it would be on me if I constantly tell them “sure, just let me handle it” and then not handle it. But that would be the opposite of what I wrote above.

      • cheesepotatoesEnglish
        4•21 days ago

        I don’t disagree with your quoted section. I was more referring to this:

        Simple example: I tell colleagues, family, whatever to please remind me again if they feel I missed something they expected of me. If they do, all is good. If they later are pissed that I missed something and immediately blame me … sorry my friend, I warned you.

        You can’t expect people to constantly remind you and check up on you. I would rather just do the thing myself at that point.

        • @die444dieEnglish
          2•20 days ago

          I think this may be a misunderstanding of what they are saying.

          If you think I’ve forgotten a task you asked me to do, then I probably have. Say something. Don’t sit there stewing like I forgot it on purpose.

          It’s not about them constantly checking up and reminding, it’s about reacting with anger to something we have no control over.

        • @aksdbEnglish
          1•21 days ago

          Yes and no; you left out part of my quote. Stuff that can be put in a reminder is up to me (especially if I tell them “I’ll handle it”). But if for whatever reason that’s not possible and I tell them “you might have to remind me again next week” and they are fine with that, then they shouldn’t be pissed if I indeed needed a reminder. That’s what I meant with “I warned them”.

          • @die444dieEnglish
            3•20 days ago

            Exactly. No idea why people have downvoted you.

            Our happiness relies on being able to accept the limitations we have. If others can’t accept them that’s on them. And honestly it’s not that big a deal. I am successful and have been in the same profession for over 20 years. Everyone I work with knows about it and works with me. I also work around their limitations. That’s just part of being on a team.