I mean I don’t actually care what you do with your gender. But it doesn’t sound like you experience gender euphoria by your own description of being agender (not identifying as a man) but performing gender as a man. It also sounds like you lack introspection about how the way you see gender, which is subjective and being projected onto others. So those things tend to mean you repress your gender because you don’t even understand that what you’re projecting is an idealized version of who’d you’d be if you were that gender/person.