I kill 2-4. Fuckers get in whenever I open the windows at night

  • @breadsmasher
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    83 months ago

    the wildlife

    Now Im imagining owls, bats, bears, alligators all getting stuck on a screen

    • @shalafi
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      3 months ago

      Oh god, the pictures in my head, LMAO.

      “Ma! There’s a danged ole black bear stuck to the back porch screen!”

      “Well poke it loose with the broom!”

      You sleep late thinking the sun is low. Nope. Gator spread eagle on your bedroom window.

      “God. Damnit. Not again”

      Wife rolls over in bed,

      “Stop bitching and go get the gator spray.”

      “We used it all!”

      “Then why didn’t you buy more?!”

      I put it on our shopping list. You forgot last time you went to Winn Dixie.”

      • @Passerby6497
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        13 months ago

        When I was visiting for my honeymoon, they were so thick you literally could not avoid stepping on them. We tried for the first day or two, but when there’s not much visible sidewalk between them, eventually you let lizard jesus protect his own.