Hello. For context, I am in a university. I do not have any friends, and it feels like colleagues talk bad about me. This makes me quite hesitant to join any circles or attend seminars. I am not sure it is everyone who thinks bad about me though, I fear about asking. Yet I plan to do research, so I should attend seminars to learn current trends and stuffs. May I ask what I should do in such a situation? Are friends necessary, or not really? Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead? Thanks for reading lengthy paragraph, I would love any comments or advice for this.

    • @someacnt_OP
      11•18 days ago

      Yeah, I suspect I am both mildly autistic and ADHD.

      • @[email protected]English
        10•18 days ago

        Okay, well I’ll try to answer your questions as directly as possible.

        Attending seminars to learn about current interests is a very clinical approach, that won’t ever really capture what those trends are and you will appear to be even more of an outsider imitating the ‘insiders’. I personally wouldn’t recommend it, maybe try looking to find a group hobby that you can do with other people (DnD, walking, photography, book club, sports, etc).

        Are friends necessary, or not really?

        Necessary is subjective. But at least for me I find having some social connections I can talk with helps, and is overall a net positive on my quality of life. Also good friends can end up being with you for life, certainly a good investment.

        Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead?

        That depends, why are you in University? If it’s purely for academic learning, just focus on your studies. If it’s to gain life experiences as well, go out and seek people. If it’s neither, and you can’t think of any other reason to be in such an environment than maybe a job would be a good change.

        • @someacnt_OP
          5•18 days ago

          I want to do research, that is why I am in the uni. Problem is, network effect is strong in academia, so being isolated is not great for that…

          • Maeve
            4•18 days ago

            Are there any clubs that hold interest for you? Chess club, book club, drama club, small local bands? What kind of research? Anything pertaining to that?

            Fanfic? Scifi? Creative writing?

            • @someacnt_OP
              6•18 days ago

              I do not have particular interest other than gaming, tho I can maybe pursue an interest. Chess club sounds good, perhaps I’d try that!

              • Maeve
                6•17 days ago

                That’s cool. There are probably gaming groups, if even informal. Look for those.