Hello. For context, I am in a university. I do not have any friends, and it feels like colleagues talk bad about me. This makes me quite hesitant to join any circles or attend seminars. I am not sure it is everyone who thinks bad about me though, I fear about asking. Yet I plan to do research, so I should attend seminars to learn current trends and stuffs. May I ask what I should do in such a situation? Are friends necessary, or not really? Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead? Thanks for reading lengthy paragraph, I would love any comments or advice for this.

  • @InvisibleShoe
    95•14 days ago

    If you are neurodivergent, it might be worth looking into Rejection sensitive dysphoria and Social phobia.

    It may feel like others are judging/bad talking you but that may not be the case.

    Speak to a GP or psychologist, they can help with these types of issues.

    • @[email protected]English
      22•14 days ago

      Psychotherapy does not particularly help patients with RSD because the emotions hit suddenly and completely overwhelm the mind and senses.

      Hard disagree from me, dawg. Rejection sensitivity is a super common target behavior in psychotherapy treatments like DBT and RODBT, and it’s super treatable with those modalities. This article saying “only drugs work” is uninformed and misleading

      • @InvisibleShoe
        6•14 days ago

        Thats why I said to speak to a GP or psych. In Australia, the GP is first line for diagnosis who then refers you on to psychologist or psychiatrist.

        I’m just suggesting that based on what OP said, RSD could be a possibility and they should see a doctor for help if they are serious about improving their mental health etc.

        • @[email protected]English
          6•14 days ago

          I agree with all that, I just don’t agree with William Dodson, M.D., LF-APA. I tried to look up the “LF-APA” credential, btw, because I’ve never heard of it, and William Dodson appears to be the only person on the internet who has it. Anyone know what it indicates?

    • @[email protected]English
      20•14 days ago

      This is what springs to mind for me as well. OP, you should try to remember this: the people around you are not as concerned with you as they are their own lives. And their own lives are probably pretty intense for them to deal with!

      • Understanding other people’s lives might have intensity you don’t know about or understand is empathy. Displaying empathy will help you establish bonds with others and this is a good place to start.
      • Say they do ostracize and dislike you. So what? Can they really even do anything about it? Should you even care? Probably not. It probably doesn’t matter at all. So you’ll have to deal with it for now, but they’ll move on and so will you.
    • @someacnt_OP
      8•14 days ago

      Oh, does RSD symptom include the illusory hearing about badmouthing? That aside, I do think only some actively participates in badmouthing behavior, and many might be ambivalent. I am not sure about this, though.

      • @InvisibleShoe
        12•14 days ago

        I don’t know about illusory hearing as related to RSD but I do know that I had similar issues most of my life.

        I used to think people were looking at me, talking about me and sometimes thought that they could hear/guess my thoughts. Started when I was a kid. Found out it was ASD-1 and a brain tumor causing alot of the issues.

        And the only way I found out about that was by going to the doctor. I really do recommend speaking to a doctor about these issues and you might be surprised with what they find and how much better you feel once you can get the right therapy.

        • @someacnt_OP
          6•14 days ago

          Thanks, I see that it could be related. That said, I’ve spoken about this issue to many doctors and psychiatrists, and it did not help - doctors just raised dosage, and psychiatrists told me to actually talk with people. Problem is, with my social anxiety, it is so difficult to talk with people…

          • @birbs
            2•14 days ago

            Perhaps you could try friend-finding apps such as Bumble BFF? You’re likely to find others there in a similar position to yourself. It also focuses on 1 on 1 which should be a little easier to manage with social anxiety.