I have Special Interests (pixel-perfect UIs, the overall ‘feel’ of software, old computers, obsolete media like floppies, useless machines, etc.) that my brain finds extremely stimulating and rewarding and I’m able to devote hours to creating things that scratch these itches. Unfortunately neither the job market, nor anyone else actually, sees beauty there where I see it and so they will not value it (that includes financially). Meanwhile, there are other things like machine learning or cell biology that my brain is also very well equipped for but I don’t spend time learning them because they don’t draw me to them the way my SIs do (I have ADHD so the stimulation level of activities is quite decisive). This is a handicap because it leaves me fixated on several irrelevant things which I did not choose. How do you guys deal with this?
So much this. Back when I started working, my special interest was computer science. Teenage me would constantly tinker with my home computer just to tinker. So I went to trade school for it and got a job as a field service tech almost immediately upon graduation.
I burned out so fast I didn’t even realize it was happening.
Some of it was the field part. I’ve always been socially awkward and anxious (not diagnosed with anything at the time) but I was Doing What I Was Supposed To Do. And it drained me. Going into businesses was bad enough. Finding addresses in and around Philly when the best option was a Mapquest printout. Crawling on the floor of an auto shop in my slacks because the cables were pulled so tight that I couldn’t slide the tower out at all. Opening a box in a bowling alley to find that the issue was overheating due to everything being coated in sticky smoke residue and dust (holy fuck the smell). Being put on the spot by business owners demanding something or other that was out of my control. And then working on personal boxes, whether in the shop or at people’s houses, was a whole other can of worms. Dude, I don’t want to know why you had a nude selfie as your Win95 desktop. Hide your junk before taking it in for service.
The rest of it was having to do the thing I liked all day every day (and some nights). For every interesting and novel problem there were two dozen repetitive builds/installs, and a handful of crap that was way above my pay grade. I was laid off shortly after the company moved out of the storefront and into an office to focus on the B2B aspect… and then promptly lost their biggest client because they got big enough to hire their own staff. I was only there a year and a half but I felt so beaten down.
I picked back up a year or so later in the corporate world, this time doing overnight batch processing and going through ungodly amounts of paper via monster printers. This was mostly okay except for the hours and the pay. Eventually had to move on, and ended up at a place that rewarded my ingenuity with more responsibilities and the occasional promotion. A NT person would have job hopped. But my ass spiraled. I lost any interest in doing computer/networking for myself anymore. Just got more and more burned out. Covid was a brief reprieve, actually seeing sunshine all summer in 2020. Then they started turning the screws harder until I quit. A competent lawyer could have easily argued constructive dismissal. But I didn’t have it in me.
As for OP’s question, I don’t have an answer. My values and interests simply do not align with the world as we know it. I don’t care about money. I don’t care about success. But without the former we’re kinda deemed unworthy of living. Because the world is run by sociopaths.
I’m really into Computer Science too.
I got a degree, then spent a year job searching to end up working customer service; carrying drinks up and down stairs for a few months. I eventually got an internship doing programming.
It’s nice to finally have a job in something that I’ve been interested in for a long time, although now I guess a very large amount of my time is spent using computers. Also, even if it pays more, I suppose writing code where I don’t even fully know what it’ll be used for feels less “rewarding” than serving customers.
That’s a big problem for me too. Everything is always super important to the business, but I was so far removed from that effect that it could have been counting jellybeans for all that it mattered to me. I believe that’s referred to as “alienation from labor.” And it’s been thoroughly normalized.