Been in a relationship for a year, since early in the relationship my partner has been suffering with chronic back pain. This pain is almost always present, this causes breakdowns multiple times a week, especially on weekends.
I’ve been having a hard time helping her manage her pain and being there for her, it reoccures so much that I’m starting to feel myself becoming apathetic towards her, and sometimes outright cold.
I haven’t really been getting a chance to rest from being emotionally available, or even socially available (even though life circumstance already caused me to basically halt all social life). And i haven’t really had a weekend this past months that i could use to rest instead of being on call and hearing her cry most of the day.
I feel like I’m pouring from an empty cup and that I don’t have any other choice, otherwise I’d be leaving her to deal with it herself.
It feels like it’s going to be the end of our relationship, any advice?
p.s. we’re a man-woman relationship, young adults, both of us not really experienced in relationships, if that’s any help.
Hey there. In my house, both of us have issues. Pain is a daily part of our lives.
Communication!
The first time you tell her you can’t do X because reasons; you’re going to ( may) feel like an ahole. But here’s the thing, you have another person you’ve already taking care of… yourself. And if you don’t have any downtime to rest you won’t be able to take care of her.
Not justifying being the AH, but have to tell her when you’re running on empty.
Talk to her about it. Service like this is hard.
Good luck
Tbh i already feel like an asshole because I’m having a hard time getting through to her, and she’s now feeling so much guilt over this, wish it didn’t have to be so hard.