For those baffled by Donald Trump’s forays into meandering discourses about electrocution, bacons sales or cannibal killers at his recent political rallies, the former US president had an explanation.
Trump assured supporters in Pennsylvania on Saturday that what might look like incoherent ramblings as he frequently departed from his scripted speech were instead indicators of his brilliance that impressed other great minds.
“I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about, like, nine different things that they all come back brilliantly together. And it’s like friends of mine that are like English professors, they say: ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen,’” he told a bemused audience.
“But the fake news, you know what they say, ‘He rambled.’ It’s not rambling. What you do is you get off a subject to mention another little tidbit, then you get back on to the subject, and you go through this and you do it for two hours, and you don’t even mispronounce one word.”
But, increasingly, many others are not persuaded, including some of his own supporters.
No, don’t you all see? He’s actually so genius that we mere mortals can’t comprehend his brilliance, as attested to by his multiple friends who are totally real English professors who exist and spend time with him, and are definitely not fictitious people he just made up on the spot to try to strengthen an obviously bullshit argument. Well, no, you wouldn’t have heard them, because they, um, teach at a different school, but the important part is that they are intelligent enough to see the clever underlying structure of his wide ranging and definitely intellectually brilliant speeches, which the rest of us apparently aren’t.
In Canada!
How dare you, I’m sure that they are good patriotic American English professors! They’re just from a different state than you.