I, personally, grew up with a giant lack of self-confidence. After I turned 25, along with quarantine to truly understand myself, I feel I have gained more confidence/self-worth.

My field is technology, but most of all my friends are not “engineers” and I have felt I have been missing out on some key bonds that are preventing me from sharing my knowledge to grow with them in a mutually beneficial way. I felt most of my friends were of the business kind that “always had an idea” and had a pocket engineer to talk to.

But, recently the past 2 years I have been more “mature” saying no to things or starting to give low-level, instead of high-level, overviews about certain topics. I felt it was in-fact hurting my career, to not talk in-depth so I began to join discords and build up my social vernacular observing/conversing with engineers online. But, whenever an in-real life discussion would start with a topic that I had researched, I would always make sure to “correct it” in case fake observations are brought up and/or decisions were made based on them.

Lately, though I have felt I have lost bonds with almost all of my in real life friends. And I can’t tell if, I am the *sshole, or if I have just “grown?”. I have felt that I was always aware of how I shared my “side of the story” and/or reasoning behind my decisions respectfully. But, I just can’t get it out of my head that I am in the wrong in some way.

  • HobbitFoot
    link
    fedilink
    English
    51 year ago

    A few things:

    1. It is common for people to change in their late 20’s. Goals change, people change. It is fine that you are closer with a different group of people.

    2. You can be friends with people in different industries; you just need to find some sort of common ground. If you can’t find any common ground, then it is common for friendships to drift apart.

    3. A lot of people don’t like being corrected. I get that you want things to be right, but it can be an insufferable personality trait in friendships while it is necessary in your profession. You have to learn when it is ok to let incorrect things go if it won’t hurt anyone.

    • @pexavcOP
      link
      English
      41 year ago

      Yeah, I see that third point clearly. I have never been good in dividing my personality between work and social. One would always be the same in the other.

      • HobbitFoot
        link
        fedilink
        English
        31 year ago

        A lot of people are bad at it, so don’t take it as a personal failing.