I always knew I was different, but it was only at 33 that someone suggested I might have it (I was getting myself checked out after my father passed), so I talked to a doctor about it a couple of times but never truly did all the tests.
It took me having both kids diagnosed to go through the entire process to get my diagnosis (same as the kids, unsurprisingly), and I cannot avoid cursing myself at 33 for not doing it sooner. Everything I learned in the 10+ years between both things could have made that period a bit smoother, using all the tools and techniques I have acquired since.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 47 and I’m probably autistic but it’s not worth pursuing it formally. The difference has been massive and it took a year just coming to terms with the realisation. I went through a lot as a kid and I’m trying to untangle the web of masking behaviour. In general it’s been great but there were depressive periods where I felt like I was losing my identity. I have devoted a lifetime pretending to be someone else. I don’t have to do that any more but old habits die hard. I feel happy, life is easier when we accept who we are.
Nice, acceptance is great! Glad you are feeling a positive change!
I always knew I was ADHD, but I though it just made it hard to read. It wasn’t until formal diagnosis and medication that I realized just how much ADHD was affecting my entire life. It wasn’t just reading, education, or work. There were so many social and personal issues that would stem from it. People would think I was rude, careless, or selfish. Mix that with autism and us relating consoling people expressing difficulty by sharing a relatable personal experience, and people thought I only cared about myself, so I over-corrected by making everything about everyone else and stopped existing. As far as personal things, I would run late, forget central factors (like a suit for a fancy event), have terrible sleep habits, and all around clumsy. Finally got a diagnosis as an adult and getting therapy from an ND therapist, and wowsers! I had no idea how much ADHD was affecting my life. It’s insane! I think that the difficulties of ADHD are severely dismissed.
Good job on unmasking. In my experience, it takes a lot of little experiments to find out who we really are since that person got buried so deep. There’s a bit of embarrassment and minor regret here and there, but overall, I think it’s fun to become who I really am. So much discovery!