I have decision paralysis in organizing my work and self-study flow. While working on one thing, I keep agonizing as to if that’s what I should be doing and lose time doing so. I keep trying to let go of this mindset and I just fail.
How do I improve on this, how do I make sure that I don’t lose time while trying to buy time by optimizing my workload? Is my workload too much? Am I trying to achieve a lot of things at once? But if I don’t, I’ll probably never get to where I have to be, yet chasing all of this means I’ll be stuck in a spot for a long while, perhaps I let go of my dreams and just lay flat.
I try fixating certain tasks to certain times, I’ve cut down on a lot of things, creating a huge backlog that I might not go through in 10 lifetimes.
How do you make sure you do the things you have to do, when you have to do them and not feel like it’s a waste of time you should put elsewhere even after you’ve decided that the task at hand is paramount?
You’ve set yourself up with some serious expectations my friend, and it seems like the mere concept of not meeting those expectations is causing you distress. One solution would be to develop psychological flexibility. It seems like your drive to be perfect has you stuck, because perfection is an ideal and is not achievable. You need to learn to effectively tolerate being imperfect and doing things imperfectly.
You might try to see a psychotherapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders like OCD or OCPD. I’m not saying you have either of those, but what you’re experiencing would certainly be in their wheelhouse.