• @portuga
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    2012 hours ago

    Eyes closed. Avoid light. Feel your way to the bathroom. Make sure toilet lid is up (or sit, I’m not judging). Make sure you’re not accidentally in the closet.

      • @toynbee
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        1211 hours ago

        I broke my ankle a while back and it never healed properly. Since then I’ve appreciated the relief of sitting to pee.

        • @[email protected]
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          48 hours ago

          You must be clumsy as fuck if you managed to break you ankle while you were standing to pee. Either that or your technique is waaaaaaaayyy off.

          • @toynbee
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            8 hours ago

            Heh. I can’t tell if this is a deliberate misinterpretation (in which case, pretty funny) or not (seems unlikely).

            I broke my ankle taking out some recycling. It was sleeting heavily at the time and I was wearing my wife’s flip-flops because I couldn’t find my shoes (edit: fun fact, it turned out I had set the recycling on my shoes while looking for them). I slipped and fell off the front porch and my ankle broke when I landed.

            I’ve dislocated my shoulder fourteen times, so I thought the ankle was just dislocated. Based on my experience with my shoulder, I tried to reset the ankle and stand back up … Twice. I only stopped because my neighbor heard me and came over to investigate; in a twist I wouldn’t believe in a movie, he turned out to be a physical therapist who mostly worked with ankles. He was a tremendous comfort because he was able to answer most of my questions while we waited for the ambulance.

            The EMTs made me hop down the stairs of my front porch on one foot before they put me on the stretcher. To this day I wonder what they would have done if I’d broken both ankles or been several floors up or something.

            I have so many stories about that night. It has shaped my life in one way or another ever since.

            • @toynbee
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              28 hours ago

              This does not seem like an effective way to reduce splashing.

                • @toynbee
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                  12 hours ago

                  I disagree.

                  If there’s going to be splashing, I’d very much rather it be around the toilet (which is presumably only going to be used for toilet purposes) than around the sink (which might be used for hygiene purposes as well as maybe filling cups, washing hands, brushing teeth, etc.).

              • @evulhotdog
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                14 hours ago

                Disagree. The more parallel your stream is to the surface it’s hitting, the less likelihood of a splash. It’s hard to get a good angle in a toilet unless you really try. It’s very easy to do that in a sink at or slightly below dick level.

                • @toynbee
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                  13 hours ago

                  This is written by someone who a. Is tall enough to piss straight in the sink and b. Is not a grower.

    • Ms. ArmoredThirteen
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      010 hours ago

      If I did this I’d end up blindly stepping on a giant house spider or one of the many bugs they’re supposed to be eating. I have too many critters sneaking into my bathroom

      • @toynbee
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        18 hours ago

        When my mom was pregnant with my eldest sister in Greece, she apparently once headed to the bathroom, only to find a scorpion waiting on the doorknob.

        Stepping on a spider seems preferable.