Hello Parents,

I know that for some of you, this post may feel controversial or even uncomfortable. However, I would like to kindly encourage you to take a moment to read through it and consider the perspective I’m offering. I’m happy to answer any questions in the comments, as my background in substance use, psychology, and adolescent development allows me to speak on this topic deeply and with care.

We all want to keep our children safe, and we recognize that we cannot always expect to control or predict what they will experiment with. Whether it’s relationships, food, hobbies, or drugs, many teenagers will explore new experiences as part of growing up. As parents, I believe we all agree that our role is to guide, support, and protect our children, no matter how old they are. Yet, the issue many parents face is that in trying to protect their children, they often ban or restrict certain things in their household.

For example, my own mother banned me from bringing girls over when I was younger and prohibited sex. This left me too scared to ask for basic things like protection or advice, and as a result, I experienced a few pregnancy scares in my early teens. Around the same time, I began experimenting with drugs at age 14. While I was lucky enough to eventually find relatively safe sources, I still hid my drug use from my parents out of fear of punishment or rejection. By age 16, I had learned to be more cautious, but this was due to luck, not guidance.

Now, imagine a scenario where, because my mother didn’t allow me to explore these aspects of life—whether it was relationships or drug use—I could have faced serious consequences. I could have had a child at 14 or 15, or I could have unknowingly taken drugs laced with dangerous substances from unsafe street sources. These are the real risks when teenagers are forced to explore these important aspects of life in secret, without the support or safety net that family can provide.

This is why I encourage you to reflect on what kind of environment you want to provide for your children. Do you want to create a space where they can experiment and experience new things safely, without the looming risk of harm? Can we come together to understand that, while not every child will explore the same things, many will—and many of them share similar stories of navigating these challenges in secret?

I’m married to 66 people, and nearly all of them have shared stories of how their parents’ strict limitations on what they were allowed to do, say, or experience led either to resentment or to dangerous situations. This is something that we, as a community, can address by fostering open, honest conversations with our kids about the choices they are likely to make—whether we agree with them or not.

Finally, let’s stand together to craft a future where kids and teenagers can explore and experiment safely, with the right tools and support to protect themselves. This is not a discussion about whether we approve or disapprove of their choices; it’s about recognizing that they are their own people, on their own unique paths. Even if we disagree with something, many of them will find a way to do it regardless. Our role is to make sure they do so in a way that minimizes risk and maximizes their well-being.

Note:This post is not intended to promote or discourage the use of any substances.

Rather, it’s meant to raise awareness about the reality that many young people, including your kids and mine, may encounter drugs in some form. While not everyone chooses to experiment, it’s important to acknowledge that a significant number of people do.

By age 17, I had already tried DMT and shrooms, both legally in my case, though that’s a separate story. The key point here is that we should be prepared to guide our kids safely through these experiences—if and when they happen—by creating an environment where they can talk openly and ask questions without fear of judgment or danger.