I don’t know anything about your grandmother’s situation or the decision your father made. You didn’t explain. I’m just offering a contrasting point of view. Don’t read this if you think my talking about letting people die might upset you.
Death and Dying in the US
The US spends billions every year keeping very elderly people alive who have a terrible quality of life and no expectation of getting any better.
And many families insist on medical intervention for their elder members despite every doctor telling them it won’t improve their quality of life. I’m talking about elderly people who aren’t even conscious. What for exactly? What is the point of keeping your 98 year old, unresponsive grandmother alive for 1 more month?
Let people die. It’s part of life.
I was visiting someone in the hospital years ago and there was another very old man in the same room. He spoke to the nurse and said he wanted to die. He was a tiny old man who probably didn’t even have the strength to turn over in bed. He could barely even speak. The nurse merely said reassuring things like “Don’t you have family who love you?” To which he replied “No”. Plus a couple more such questions and statements.
It was so sad I wanted to cry. Not because he didn’t have any family around, but because the hospital was keeping this man alive despite his wishes. Could he flat out refuse all care? Maybe. If he had the energy to fight them. He could even refuse food. Until he fell unconscious that is, and then the hospital would keep him alive against his previous wishes with IV food and medicine. It’s OK because Medicare was probably paying for his care. The hospital has a perverse incentive to keep him alive as long as possible.
Why can’t he just choose to die with what tiny shred of dignity he still has? Because the US is a messed up place with a terrible sense of what end-of-life care should be and puritanical laws against assisted dying.
Again, I don’t know what your grandmas quality of life was, so maybe none of this was applicable to you. But maybe it is. It’s something I feel very strongly about, so I felt I should say something.
I don’t know anything about your grandmother’s situation or the decision your father made. You didn’t explain. I’m just offering a contrasting point of view. Don’t read this if you think my talking about letting people die might upset you.
Death and Dying in the US
The US spends billions every year keeping very elderly people alive who have a terrible quality of life and no expectation of getting any better.
And many families insist on medical intervention for their elder members despite every doctor telling them it won’t improve their quality of life. I’m talking about elderly people who aren’t even conscious. What for exactly? What is the point of keeping your 98 year old, unresponsive grandmother alive for 1 more month?
Let people die. It’s part of life.
I was visiting someone in the hospital years ago and there was another very old man in the same room. He spoke to the nurse and said he wanted to die. He was a tiny old man who probably didn’t even have the strength to turn over in bed. He could barely even speak. The nurse merely said reassuring things like “Don’t you have family who love you?” To which he replied “No”. Plus a couple more such questions and statements.
It was so sad I wanted to cry. Not because he didn’t have any family around, but because the hospital was keeping this man alive despite his wishes. Could he flat out refuse all care? Maybe. If he had the energy to fight them. He could even refuse food. Until he fell unconscious that is, and then the hospital would keep him alive against his previous wishes with IV food and medicine. It’s OK because Medicare was probably paying for his care. The hospital has a perverse incentive to keep him alive as long as possible.
Why can’t he just choose to die with what tiny shred of dignity he still has? Because the US is a messed up place with a terrible sense of what end-of-life care should be and puritanical laws against assisted dying.
Again, I don’t know what your grandmas quality of life was, so maybe none of this was applicable to you. But maybe it is. It’s something I feel very strongly about, so I felt I should say something.