That’s entirely different, and valid. I’m sorry for your friends who went through that, and it’s something I understand myself. My own mother, who passed away recently, is someone I had cut off for decades due to a very long list of emotional and physical abuses I myself suffered at her hands. In no way I was implying that abuse should be tolerated nor expected. That being said, there was room for a limited form of relationship when she as a much older person apologized, and expressed a desire to repair the relationship and make a meaningful change. I got to see a different side to her as a result for 3 years.

Now to say that you cut family off because of how they vote, is to me, entirely absurd. Either they’re misinformed, or obtuse, and in some cases sure, abusive. But cutting family off because they share a different political viewpoint, that’s what I’m calling reprehensible.

Also, don’t fucking assume shit, I’ve been through the hell your friends have been through directly, and know it all too well. People who snivel about sensitive feelings when they have absolutely no idea, are best giving some benefit of the doubt, which is something extremists on both sides of the politics could stand to improve.

I’m really sorry man, first off thank you for being a veteran, and your story carries weight. Your dad making that statement is a terrible thing. Nobody should be doing that, especially when you’re voting with your conscience. There’s no need for “with us or against us” absolutes, and the common ground between people is there. People just tap into being told how to think, the rhetoric, and absolutes that don’t need to define us. A large part of conservatives I talk to aren’t actually anti immigration, they just say shit like “they need to do it legally” to which I ask them “Do you have any idea what legally means, and how long it takes?”.

I think back to the mass influx of immigrants that had to come by Ellis Island in the late 19th century, and how wide open the country was back then, to which those people built a nation and powered through racism of a different nature back then. The whole history of “I don’t hire Irish” and the “black Irish”, or even how Potter derisively refers to “garlic eaters” in “It’s a Wonderful Life” shows the long history of harshness towards immigrants in this country yet the best of times were built by immigrants themselves. When conservatives hear this stuff, they deprogram and become pro-immigration, but then realize how shitty our legal process is. I hope that some of them can hear this type of thing and start advocating for the right kind of change instead of treating humans as lesser for factors they have zero control over, like where they’re born.

I don’t know you or your family, but that you stood by your wife and kids after serving a country with ungrateful parts is beyond commendable and a show of your awesome character. Respect, sir, I truly hope you and your family are well, and I wish more people could demonstrate the compassion you and yours deserve.