Posting this because I think it’s an interesting examination of the overlap (or lack thereof) between atheists and general skeptics. It’s worth remembering that the term ‘atheism’ only means a rejection of theistic beliefs; non-theistic beliefs that are nonetheless irrational and unsupported by evidence are not relevant to the term. And yet one can easily see why there is an overlap between these two communities and why many atheists scoff at other atheists who profess belief in things like astrology, ghosts, reincarnation, etc.
I’m definitely one of those who doesn’t believe in anything supernatural, but I’ve certainly met atheists who do. It’s worth remembering the two groups aren’t synonymous.
With respect, I’m not sure I agree that you fall into the category of atheists who have supernatural beliefs. You seem to be saying that you entertain supernatural ideas conceptually for their utility to you in the moment, but that you don’t actually Believe (capital ‘b’) they’re true, even in that moment. I’ve had moments of what I call “uncanny coincidence,” in which two events seem connected in a way that goes against everything I know about how reality works (e.g. a friend calling precisely in the moment I’m thinking about how I haven’t heard from them in years). When something like that happens, I do have thoughts like, “wow, that’s weird, it’s almost like they read my mind or God’s real and is connecting me with my long-lost buddy,” but I don’t really believe them. Likewise, every time I contemplate my own death and try to imagine what my thoughts will be when it’s moments away and I’m staring oblivion in the face, I can’t escape the notion that—despite my firm belief that my brain will just stop working and my stream of consciousness will stutter and then stop completely—I will be terrified at my own ignorance of what is about to happen, what I’m about to experience. As much as my higher brain is thoroughly convinced that my experience will end and there is no “darkness” that follows it, a baser, more intuitive part of my brain still acts as though my consciousness will persist somehow and thus I feel afraid. Does that fact that I feel fear betray my professed belief and mean I lack conviction in them? No, it just means my brain is a complex system and not all of it is capable of accepting an unintuitive idea like the absence of my own mind.
I don’t mean to miscategorize you though, so if you feel I’ve misunderstood you, please correct me.