Hello,

Lately I have been overwhelmed with my schedule, finances and social life. I am always trying to improve my mental health. With all of this stress I am considering therapy, mainly for someone to talk, to process all my thoughts, and maybe help me develop ideas or come up with strategies to cope better. I have ADHD, Autism, and some other things if that helps anyone relate.

I have three main questions:

Has therapy helped you enough to be worth the time?

Is it very difficult to find a therapist you mesh with?

How do I find a therapist? From a doctor’s referral? Online service? Through insurance? (I live in the United States.)

Any experience or advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for your help and support! I hope everyone is doing well and has seen positive changes. And I hope all these replies help other people besides myself. I’m feeling more positive and hopeful toward finding the right therapist. Your kindness is appreciated!

  • Andy
    3•1 year ago

    I can help a bit. The short answers are yes, yes, and it’s complicated.

    Therapy absolutely can work. It’s very circumstantial. It depends on what kind of problems you have, and whether you’re prepared to work on them. I don’t say this in a judgement sense, but it’s important to understand that most work takes place between sessions. If they’re good, they give advice on things to practice when you’re in a situation and then you try it and report back. That sort of thing.

    Is it hard to find a therapist? God, I wish I could tell you “no!”, but in my experience, it is. Part of it is the challenge of getting an appointment with anyone, and then after that is the challenge of finding someone capable with whom you’re compatible. My best advice is to think of it a bit like dating or interviewing someone for a job. If they don’t seem to get you, move on, and keep doing so until you find a match that is at least good enough.

    How do you find one? If you have insurance, you call them or email and they email you a list of in-network people or direct you to a list on their website. Then you call each during your lunch hour and a bunch are disconnected or require you to go through a long phone tree before you learn that they do physical therapy, not the head kind, or they have no availability for new patients. Eventually, you get a call back from leaving a message on a bunch of voicemails, and the direct you to complete an intake questionnaire, then schedule a first session.

    I advice trying to get into a clinic with multiple providers instead of a solo practitioner, because if the first person you talk to isn’t a match, they can connect you with a different shrink at the same clinic if they’ve got several. Otherwise, you have to keep looking again and fill out the new patient questionnaires again.

    It really sucks how many barriers are there, and I advise getting help from a supportive friend or partner if possible. If you get access or end up signing up for BetterHelp with a podcast code, eventually it can make life-changing difference. Good luck.

    • @flyoverthisOP
      2•1 year ago

      Thanks for a comprehensive reply. I am definitely seeking therapy to actively fix issues I’ve been having. I work daily on everything. It feels like I just need some extra help at this point.

      And thank you for a concrete example of how the search might look. I am all too familiar with trying to find a doctor who is accepting patient and endless phone trees. It might not be fun, but at least it’s something I’ve dealt with before.

      That’s a great idea to look for a larger clinic!

      Thanks for all your help!

      • CFinley97
        3•1 year ago

        I have a friend who, going by your comments and posts, was in a very similar situation as you including living with ADHD and autism.

        Most comments here are saying “yes but it depends how you mesh.” I’d just say if you focus on someone specializes in or has worked more with folks with ADHD and autism, that will probably help make your selection and evaluation process easier.

        Even if you don’t see it listed on their online profiles, you can ask about that in your initial outreach. I think that will help you make the process more effective.

        But I do think that, like with other help topics, if you’re willing to put in the work, having that resource can be very impactful.

        • @flyoverthisOP
          2•1 year ago

          That sounds like it would be particularly helpful to have someone who understands the nuances to how a neurodivergent person might think.

          Thanks for your input and your help! I hope your friend is doing well.