• @GrymEdm
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    4 days ago

    I agree that women are not going back “into the bottle” as it were. There definitely are females out there opposed to women’s rights (especially reproductive and career rights). They will be opposed by a greater number of women + the men who want women to meaningfully participate in society. A nation that refuses to take women seriously ends up cutting their potential leadership, ideas, production, and so on basically in half. Already we see women planning how they are going to resist misogynistic policies, and maybe they don’t need my support as a Canadian man but they’ve got it.

    • @vzq
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      274 days ago

      FEEEEEEMALES!!!

      • @GrymEdm
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        -224 days ago

        ? Is that a trigger word for you or something?

        • @vzq
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          144 days ago

          Dude, like. No. Stop digging.

          • @GrymEdm
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            4 days ago

            I have no idea what’s going on with either of your responses (digging into what exactly?), but ok.

            • @minnow
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              334 days ago

              There definitely are females out there

              The use of “females” here is objectifying, and generally frowned upon. Here’s a way to avoid this mistake in the future: replace “females” with the word “people” and if it works grammatically and in the context of what you’re saying (eg, you’re not talking about animals) then you should be using “women” instead of “females.”

              • @GrymEdm
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                4 days ago

                Thank you for clarifying, I appreciate it. I didn’t know that, but I’m not going to stop using the word “female” for reasons I put in another post just above.

                • @[email protected]
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                  204 days ago

                  “Thanks for explaining why using this word in that way is problematic and makes the people it is attempting to describe uncomfortable, but I don’t actually give a shit and will continue to use it regardless” 🙄

                • @minnow
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                  4 days ago

                  I’m not telling you to stop using the word altogether, just trying to help you understand why some uses are inappropriate and will garner ire from others. It’s fine if you want to say “well that’s their problem” but alternatively you could try to have some empathy. Broadly speaking, being considerate of others rarely requires anything of you, and helps make the world a better place.

                  But if that’s asking too much, I understand.

                  Edit to add: this applies to the usage of “males” and “females” equally. By continuing to use this terms inappropriately, you’re not somehow promoting equality, you’re just being stubborn about using hurtful language.

                  • @minnow
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                    44 days ago

                    I’m not telling you to stop using the word altogether, just trying to help you understand why some uses are inappropriate and will garner ire from others. It’s fine if you want to say “well that’s their problem” but alternatively you could try to have some empathy. Broadly speaking, being considerate of others rarely requires anything of you, and helps make the world a better place.

                    But if that’s asking too much, I understand.

                    Edit to add: this applies to the usage of “males” and “females” equally. By continuing to use this terms inappropriately, you’re not somehow promoting equality, you’re just being stubborn about using hurtful language.

                    Edit 2: It’s possible that your usage of “male” wasn’t problematic, I’d have to see the post. But if it was problematic, and others didn’t call it out, that’s a failure on their part. I don’t see why the hypocrisy of others should excuse your inappropriate usage of if certain words, that feels very… Whataboutism, perhaps? Anyway, I get why you’re frustrated. Sorry you’re dealing with that, but please don’t be a bad person just to spite others. You’re obviously smart and caring, and I think you can do better if you wanted to.

            • @[email protected]
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              294 days ago

              I’ll bite. Referring to women as “females” is usually used by incels. Women, ladies, those are your safer bets.

              • @GrymEdm
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                4 days ago

                Well, thank you for clarifying at least. I’m not changing the wording. Let me be clear, I’m definitely not blaming you for being helpful - I appreciate at least knowing. However, if someone reads my post supporting and valuing women and the thing they comment on is the word “female” as if that makes me an incel misogynist, then I don’t really care. I wrote a post in this thread about the radicalization of men, and I used the word “male” 4 times. 31 upvotes, no downvotes (at time of posting) and no one had issue with “male”.

                I support women and I never ever use the actually pejorative terms, but I’m not stopping using the word female. Incels use the word “women” too all the time btw. There’s even the famous coffee meme that uses the word “women” and I hate it because I’m a gamer and it’s always used in gamer communities to mock women.

                Edit: After thought and given how people seem upset, I won’t post on this forum anymore. I’m sure there are some who will think “Bye - no loss” and it’s their right to do so and tell me so if they want. I don’t like that my obvious intent was overridden by the use of a very common word and it feels like a minefield I’m not interested in navigating. That “female” is an ok adjective but a really offensive noun just seems odd, especially when the equally-misused “woman” is fine. Hateful people say words hatefully and if you let them claim words there won’t be any left. I’d never hear something like “males are being pulled to the extreme right” and wonder if they mean humans (aka dehumanizing). In a lifetime spent with female friends and decades on boards like Reddit and Lemmy this is the very first time it’s been an issue. I have other thoughts but they’re not helpful so I’ll just say adios.

                P.S. I’ll keep on supporting women in other places. I believe strongly that the only ethical position is that a person be judged by their character, and determined fit for any role by their capabilities as opposed to genitalia, ethnicity, preferred sexuality, etc. Regardless of people telling me they know my beliefs better than I do, I actually know what I believe - biases of all kinds must be fought, especially now.

                • @vzq
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                  4 days ago

                  I’m a gamer

                  Yeah, saw that one coming.

                  Anyway, you can say “female” as an adjective all day. It’s the noun that has really icky nonhuman connotations.

                  • @GrymEdm
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                    -64 days ago

                    Stop trying to force misogyny on me. It’s crazy that I tried so hard to convey the fact that women are valuable and needed, and now because of one word and the fact I play video games (and have for 25 years) you’re posting “got you” replies like I’m sexist.

                • @[email protected]
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                  44 days ago

                  Your moral high ground eroded when you vociferously said it was everyone else who was wrong about the current connotation of the word.

                  • @GrymEdm
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                    4 days ago

                    I’d rather not post it because I hate it, but it’s not hard to find if you want. (BTW I’m not judging you at all for being curious).