So yeah. Lots and Lots was going on this year for me. I really hope things will settle down here now. I quit my dayjob to focus on editing videos for content creators. its fun but not very successful yet. i must say working self employed brings a whole new chapter of stress. but at least i am not forced to smile at customers anymore, and am genuinely happy with my work. I also got married, with big party and everything. so you can imagin how effing stressful that was from an anxiety perspecitve. but my partner supported me a lot and i am very happy that its done now ^^ My big take away is, if you can afford it, definetly get a manager for such events.

As of today, my anxiety is really bad. Terrible news, and doomscrolling aside even. Last weekend i went skateboarding with a group of strangers, and i definetly pushed myself too hard. i am now chained to my bed in my dark room, recharging slowly. This was my reminder to be kind to myself, and to accept when i need a break. So yeah a mixed bag, but i feel optimistic.