My (25F) boyfriend (28M) and I have been together for about 6 months, and things have been great overall. Recently, though, when he gets upset, he says things that seem intended to hurt me. It feels like he intentionally picks at things he thinks will get under my skin.
I’ve started to feel anxious about when the next comment will come, and it’s affecting me emotionally. I’m not sure how to address this with him.
To answer your question indirectly, I think you need to learn to stand up and protect yourself. Those are skills, and they’re learned skills. I’m making big assumptions here, but I’m guessing your parents never taught you good boundary setting. A quote that’s gone viral recently is that “[the definitive symptom of childhood trauma is] trying to get a difficult person to be good to us in our adult lives.” You probably don’t believe this internally yet, but you deserve to be treated with kindness. Difficult people do not deserve you.
I love this book in particular, and it’s widely available for free in libraries. https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095