I hate the disassociation so much, especially since I have no control over when it happens. I’m always missing the first few words of a conversation when someone starts talking to me and have to use context to figure out what they’re talking about. The worst is when it happens in the middle of a conversation. I’m trying to listen but then suddenly I just tune-out without warning, often without realizing it.
It’s beyond frustrating, especially when you’re trying to have healthy relationships. I come across as uncaring and selfish, which is the worst part. Nobody believes me when I say that I’m trying my hardest to listen.
Hard relate. It really sucks and “active listening skills” do help a lot but it’s no substitute for just… Being able to follow along without incredible amounts of effort.
I feel like sometimes I get grace by brushing it off as “sorry I spaced out what did you say about XYZ?” but that only goes so far.
This is why we invented the word “hello”. It means a conversation is about to start and it’s time to pay attention. When you initiate a conversation, you’re supposed to wait for the other person to say hello back, to indicate they’re ready to pay attention. If your friends don’t say hello and wait for you to say hello back, they’re using bad manners and it’s their fault you weren’t paying attention. Drag thinks this is an easy problem. “Hey buddy, you forgot to wait for me to say hi back. I missed the first five seconds of whatever you said and don’t understand the rest. Let’s try again. Hello, I am listening now.”
Language is actually pretty awesome and has built in accommodations for many disability use cases. You just have to understand how language is your ally, and educate those around you.
I was able to sit still just fine. Unfortunately, I would dissociate to be able to do this and as a result I had no idea what the hell was going on.
I hate the disassociation so much, especially since I have no control over when it happens. I’m always missing the first few words of a conversation when someone starts talking to me and have to use context to figure out what they’re talking about. The worst is when it happens in the middle of a conversation. I’m trying to listen but then suddenly I just tune-out without warning, often without realizing it.
It’s beyond frustrating, especially when you’re trying to have healthy relationships. I come across as uncaring and selfish, which is the worst part. Nobody believes me when I say that I’m trying my hardest to listen.
Hard relate. It really sucks and “active listening skills” do help a lot but it’s no substitute for just… Being able to follow along without incredible amounts of effort.
I feel like sometimes I get grace by brushing it off as “sorry I spaced out what did you say about XYZ?” but that only goes so far.
This is why we invented the word “hello”. It means a conversation is about to start and it’s time to pay attention. When you initiate a conversation, you’re supposed to wait for the other person to say hello back, to indicate they’re ready to pay attention. If your friends don’t say hello and wait for you to say hello back, they’re using bad manners and it’s their fault you weren’t paying attention. Drag thinks this is an easy problem. “Hey buddy, you forgot to wait for me to say hi back. I missed the first five seconds of whatever you said and don’t understand the rest. Let’s try again. Hello, I am listening now.”
Language is actually pretty awesome and has built in accommodations for many disability use cases. You just have to understand how language is your ally, and educate those around you.
Sit still? Be quiet? Fine.
Consciousness falls inward, a galactic space battle with sapient dinosaurs ensues
ADHD-PI has no issues with sitting still and quiet. Focus and paying attention, not so much.