• @[email protected]
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    7 days ago

    i did the if you dont do this tic the world is gonna explode, and the mind tics. and i liked psychology at some point but life sadly threw me off this path.

    i can “look through people” if im paying attention, or if im closer to that person

    by idioms do you mean languages? english is not my first language, i dont get what you mean.

    i think both creativity and collaboration play a role.

    yes

    i can tell quite easily but i cant do it as well

    i dont remember, but id say probably not.

    old man that hates change always tinkers in the shed

    change is good a 2/3 of the time though? but hey, strangely me.

    ive been getting some well deserved rest. hope you are well too.

    • monsterpiece42
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      14 days ago

      Hey there, so the first example does seem fairly OCD–like the real kind. A lot of people reference it wrongly so I wanted to double check.

      Idioms are phrases that don’t make literal sense. For example in the USA, saying that someone is “all that and a bag of chips” means they are exceptional or really cool. Or that a task was a “piece of cake” means that task was easy.

      So to be frank I have dug into each nugget of what you said (I cataloged it, because of course I did lol). And you have every sign of being autistic. I made a list of highlights:

      I have a friend that identifies with these symptoms. What could the root cause be, if any? - Masking in social situations

      • Not knowing one’s self (original post about masking)

      • Has ADHD (you mentioned)

      • Hates eye contact (I asked)

      • Authenticity is a highly rated trait in relationships (I asked)

      • Does not like small talk like thank you/good morning (You mentioned)

      • Deep-dives interests for a long time (You mentioned): “for a long time” is important here. ASD/AuDHD typically does them for a long time. “Pure” ADHD does them usually less than a week, often to the point where they forget to eat or sleep.

      • No sensory issues but does prefer comfortable clothes over appearance (asked/told): I would argue that’s sensory-driven (comfort is your sense of touch), but may be nothing to be fair.

      • Notices traits of utensils but does not bother them (asked): Even noticing them is not typical of allistic people. Could be nothing too, but this is potential sensory thing #2.

      • Feels different from others (asked): Super common for ADHD and ASD

      • OCD symptoms as a child: Common for ASD kids too. As many as 38% of ASD people have OCD as well, compared to 7% of the general population.

      • Seeing through people’s intentions when trying (asked): Fairly common, especially of the PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidant) profile of ASD. I will write about this a bit at the bottom.

      • Can see flirting but does not know how to flirt (asked): Not knowing how to flirt is super common for ASD

      • Resonates with the example of “old man that hates change always tinkers in the shed”(you mentioned): This is something that resonates frequently with ASD people because of the predictability and being ok with solo activity.

      Before I go on: The PDA profile of ASD is basically that being met with demands will trigger anxiety/fight-or-flight (demands could be anything like: questions, plans, decisions, instructions, time constraints and more). The difference is, all those are fine if you consent. Example, We have had this chat and you consented to the parts you answered. But what if your significant other needed you to run to the store while they were making dinner with no notice. Would it be a little annoying or would you total dread it/it would give you anxiety? PDA people also have higher than average social skills when they need to. Example, can you almost magically tell when someone is trying to sell you something or wants something from you? You may be PDA. PDA is huge and has literal books on it, but I credit it with the reason I often considered being autistic (sounds like you considered this before, yes?), but when I would look into it I “wasn’t”.

      Ok all that said: if it’s not ASD or some alternate profile (what used to be called Asperger’s Syndrome, or the PDA profile), I am totally stumped. You show so many markers it’s wild. I have no idea how you scored so low on the test. The test is only 80% accurate, so 1 in 5 can’t be diagnosed by it so maybe that’s why. But you have had OCD symptoms as a kid (OCD has 38% comorbidity with ASD) and currently identify as ADHD (up to 80% comorbidity with ASD). Not liking change and being ADHD simply don’t fit together as well. And you survived all these long ass write-ups haha, but that could be the novelty-seeking to be fair! I’m not trying to tell you what you are but IMHO you 110% are autistic and other stuff is helping to hide it. Side note, if me telling you I think you’re autistic is repulsive (this includes earlier in the conversation, like when you said the tests were no different than past tests), PLEASE look into the PDA profile. That is exactly how it would feel. I had a buddy I knew was autistic and it took me 4 months of patience to get him to believe me.

      I would love to hear your thoughts.

      P.s. I’m glad you’ve caught up on some rest. Diagnosis aside, rest is healthy for everyone and self care is so so important!