This might sound harsh but honestly atleast my life is really underwhelming, no matter what I try.
I have a wife, 2 dogs, an own house but a decently large debt for the house so I actually dont own it yet and a job I love (nightshift nurse)
It feels like I fckd everything up.
10 years ago my wife and I were in South East Asia, traveling,… now? I have to take care of the house, pay my credit, work
Its not the same going to Thailand only 2 weeks a year. I know many ppl cant afford it but I need that escape.
While my life isnt actually bad it just is bland though. I dont do anything other than play Video games, take care of house and dogs, watch movies, cook stuff…
But where is the excitement?
I quit going to gym, I think I should do that but I catch myself esther staring at the wall than searching for a nearby gym.
As a night nurse I have so much time in the day I would like to barista at a cafe but Im too scared to start that.
I would like to play Board games but my friends rather drink alcohol in Clubs and the next DND or Boardgame groups are 40 minutes by car.
See hpw confused I am I cant even structure this post properly.
I know money isn everything but Id travel the world, give my house away to rent, buy a new smaller house in a few years, do more sport, … somehow it feels life is behind a huge paywall and I have enough to have a decent life.
If I go to Thailand next year I have thoughts in my head like: “This money could be used to pay credit debt instead, or yard stuff, kitchen supply,…” With money I could enjoy it more
It sounds like you’re feeling unsatisfied with your current life and what you spend money on, and that you have a lot of ideas for what you could enjoy more but you have a hard time getting started.
Completely changing your life is hard, and you probably won’t go 0 to “move to thailand” in one day, especially not if you are lacking energy. You might need to start with smaller things. Do just one of the smaller things you think you might enjoy. Go to the gym once. Have a board game night once. Spend the 40 minutes on getting to a DND group once. Then keep doing small things that make you happier or bring you closer to something that does.
Also, if you like going to thailand, and don’t like yardwork or getting kitchen supplies etc, budget accordingly. Do the mimimal spend you can on yard stuff. It’s OK to not like that. Talk to your wife and find a compromise budget if you need to.