I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?
Nothing’s wrong with feeling like a man.
I feel for this post because I’ve been told by bosses that men aren’t used to people like me. They’d get used to it if women weren’t told to dumb themselves down for the poor boys raised on some fabricated ideal of manliness. I don’t like to think of traits or talents being gendered because it’s exclusionary.
When I go in to buy computer parts I still get asked if I’m sure that’s what my boyfriend wants? I never mention a boyfriend, they just assume. I don’t ask for help in hardware stores because nine times out of ten it’s gonna start a whole argument with someone who thinks they know my project better than I do.
I see the same thing happening to guys, saw a dude at a yarn shop get asked if he was gettin supplies for his wife. That sucks, right? It sucks to feel less like who you are because of what you like. That shit keeps up the gender divide because not everyone has the energy to risk feeling a little worse to do the things they enjoy.
So yeah, I’ll never describe an activity as typically male or female.
As it turns out, the things that make a good man are the same things that make a good person.
I won’t bore you with repetition so I’ll just link.
I think we mostly agree, doing the stuff you want to do in life should not be stifled by your gender. But in the OP and in this thread I get the feeling that “a man likes to feel like a man” automatically carries with it the implication that others should accommodate (by for example dumbing themselves down in order not to damage fragile masculinity as you said). I don’t see that implication at all. Is there some cultural context I’m missing here? Is this something you would say in a context where fragile masculinity is in danger of being harmed?