WASHINGTON—In a memo that stated they couldn’t even smell the stuff without gagging, officials at the Food and Drug Administration announced Wednesday a plan to ban Captain Morgan rum, citing the fact that they’d had way too much of that shit in college. “Captain Morgan Rum is not suitable for…ugh, we just need to get […]
I didn’t even have years, it was just one single 4th of July where we discovered Jager bombs, drank about 45834 of them, then spilled Jager in the backseat of my car when my sister drove us home. Getting in the car the afternoon of July 5th with a raging hangover and some hot licorice smell was enough to put me off it forever.