be me, a gifted programmer, living in a huge house, pregnant gf, good grades on prestigious uni

uni expels me because of autism, repeat uni, invest house inheritance in gaming cyber coffee

Security company employees were pro thieves, steal it clean, down to wall cables

A year wasted on persecutions and courts, start doing hard drugs, fail at new uni, fired at jobs, gf and son left me forever, shuffle many gfs, family decides to sell the house, I already wasted everything and could never recover from all of this

one day it was country’s holidays, got 6 full bags of pure colombian 3 different groups of friends drinking all night at different parts of the city, 3 days non stop use, I only used 2 bags (they told me 1 under 10 min is lethal) 4th day I knew there’s no way back, get home, I’m might do it

5 days without sleep or food, start seen lightnings and hearing beats, decided to end it, start rushing the last bags “if it happens it happens” I thought

muscles turns tight, start convulsing, I can’t fell my arms and legs, lungs dried out, heart went from crazy to halt, vision goes away My room turns into a light bulb that escapes away, around it I can see I’m traveling through a tunnel

Holy shit! the tunnel thing is real, this is it, there’s no coming back, I’m sorry everyone

Then I picture the face of my son, I can’t do this to him! wtf do I do now!

I start crawling a mountain, I can see the light where I came from, get there, the light turns into what my eyes wide open are looking, my room and my cold dead body inside of it

push air into my lungs I can feel air coming, push it out, then back in, after few tries my heart squeeze once then start pulping painfully, I can start thinking again, how is this possible, what?

still can’t move my body, look at the floor, there’s a city of gnomes dancing, yup I’m tripping balls, the closest one looking at me is like “what are you doing here?”

sleep for 48 hours, wake up starving 40 pounds underweight, can’t believe I’m alive, I can see my bones through my skin, I died, but I never told anyone