My dad was awesome. But he also wasn’t. It’s painful to hear words from coworkers who received things from him that he never gave me. But still, he gave me a lot. He wasn’t perfect. But neither am I. I mourn him leaving me so early. I mourn the things he never gave me and never would have given me. I needed to get this off my chest.
My Dad died about 4 years ago now and I still think about him often. Despite being around him for most of my life, I honestly didn’t really get to know him until his last few years when I started taking care of him. By that point though he was starting to fall apart mentally and physically, so it really felt like I was trying to hold onto sand, he just gradually slipped through my fingers, no matter how hard I tried to hold on.
My time with him though helped us to prepare and get his affairs in order, so it was a relatively painless process when it did happen, though I still find myself dealing with minor things here and there, long after probate finished.
I still miss him all the time. He was flawed in many ways, but he was also a better, nicer person than me who should’ve lived longer.