I don’t even think it’s like that. If the trans person happened to be a church member before they may be somewhat comfortable with them thus, one of the good ones. If the wife was liked in the church the guy would be out.

The whole notion of good and bad is comfort level. That is why anyone who questions their faith is rejected as an other. They viscerally dislike being uncomfortable and externalize it as hate so they don’t need to feel bad.