The Internet in Ancient TimesEnglish • 3 months ago

I'm to fight some christians in the arena this weekend. Any tips?

50

I'm to fight some christians in the arena this weekend. Any tips?

The Internet in Ancient TimesEnglish • 3 months ago

I heard they can kill a man with a glance and maybe they can breathe fire, but my cousin wasn’t sure about that one. Will the Trident and net even work against them?

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@Taniwha420
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15•3 months ago
Throw your trident down and demand that the Christian sacrifices you as an offering to the Emperor. I know, fra’, but trust me. They hate that.
- Flying SquidM
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  6•3 months ago
  A retiarius fighting a Christian? How provincial.
  
  Back in Rome, that’s the job of the dimachaerus. Who needs a net when you can kill two Christians at once?

The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age… or the bronze age… or the iron age… heck, anything with an ‘age’ is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don’t even know what “21st century” means.

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5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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