Much appreciated! I ended up ordering from Newegg, which had much more sensible filters. I had originally purchased what I wanted from Amazon, but the first one I got, ordered refurbished, had clearly been shucked and replaced with a 160GB drive from (IIRC) 2008 and the second one, ordered new, started audibly clicking one day into use.

For some reason (described by Amazon customer support as a “server glitch”) Amazon had a really tough time with the return of both of them. This drive is meant to back up a RAID attached to my file server, so I didn’t want to continue tempting fate by continuing to leave the server un-backed-up, which is why I was trying to find a place I could pick up one approximately the same day. I wasn’t able to find such a place, so I went with Newegg because it seemed like a bad idea to keep trying Amazon.