The distro family trees are like different pantheons.
Distros are like individual gods. Community developers are priests and end-users are the commoners who pray for blessings, good fortune, and happy lives. Priests direct the prayers of commoners to their respective gods.
There is the Debian pantheon, ancient gods of peace and stillness.
The Arch pantheon, progressive gods that bring revolution along with a bit of chaos.
The Red Hat pantheon, gods tha- wtf am I writing?
All hail Saint Linus, the prophet of the only true kernel!
And saint IGNUcius of the church of emacs. May we recite our confession of faith: