No gf, no friends, it’s hard to meet new people. Tinder and other apps don’t work. Idk even if I travel somewhere I’m alone

  • @[email protected]OP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    25 days ago

    Yeah I have only a very generic hobbies like games, books, rock and travelling when I have money to do it. But it’s usually a cheap journey by bus with sleeping in cheap hostel etc. Without any luxuries as insert girls on tinder and expect such trips from men. I’m study finance part-time and work also, I have limited time for new hobbies. Also I still have to spend some time every day for learning English cause you see as it is :)

    • Vanth
      link
      fedilink
      English
      175 days ago

      English language practice groups would give you a boost on learning and a potential pool of people who might be friend candidates.

      I second others’ advice on friends first, not romance. Romantic relationships are friendships on super hard mode. Don’t target romantic relationships if you haven’t figured out friendships yet.

      Also this:

      Without any luxuries as insert girls on tinder and expect such trips from men

      … makes you sound like an incel sad sack. Stop it. Literally, stop right now and don’t go down that road any further. There are few red flags that burn brighter than this sort of opinion. It will scare both potential romantic partners and friends off. If you are consuming incel/red pill media, stop before it fucks up your brain even more.

      • @gibmiser
        link
        English
        115 days ago

        Seconding what this guy said about the incel mindset. There is nothing less attractive than selfpity and blaming others. Everyone knows life is hard and people suck. They want to be around people who haven’t given up. It gives them more energy to keep trying.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          05 days ago

          That’s the truth though, if you are “money” relationship and company will come. Tinder and others work better for rich assholes. It’s ok to “give up” when the game is rigged

          • @gibmiser
            link
            English
            55 days ago

            See, like this. Don’t be like this.

            My dude, you don’t want those women, if you see too many of them on tinder then try something else. Even if it sucks and is hard. Throwing your hands in the air and giving up will get you nothing except exploited by people who want to take advantage of your anger.

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              English
              3
              edit-2
              4 days ago

              No… And I’m not stupid I don’t use those apps, they ask for too much money anyways

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      45 days ago

      I’m going to add some additional advice as far as the “incel mindset”: Get off tinder.

      Tinder isn’t meant for making lasting relationships, no matter what the marketing team claims. From it’s inception it has been used almost exclusively for people to hook up. Casual sex. There are couples that got started through Tinder, but those are rarer.

      Sites and services like Tinder turn dating into a “meat market”. Really sit and think for a moment about just how little you learn of a person from their Tinder profile. It’s almost all superficial and appearance based.

      Why would someone spend even a few seconds on “Average McBigNose” when they can swipe a few times and be looking at “Chad McThunderCock”, spending time on “Julia BigForehead” when they’re potentially moments away from “Anorexia FCups”. It boils down aspects of everyone involved to an almost entirely appearance based first impression. That’s not fair or healthy for self esteem.

      If you feel you need to use dating sites, try using some that have more fuller profiles, big long personality quizes, and that don’t have an entire design philosophy and UI built around knee-jerk reactions of yes or no.


      Additionally, a lot of things depend on how you portray or frame it. Try to give as much as possible a positive spin, even internally. Fake it if you need to.

      You don’t just travel cheaply.

      You enjoy travelling, but you try to do it frugally (frugal is effectively the socially acceptable version of cheap) so you can save money for other things. Avoiding expensive travel arrangements keeps you closer to the ground and allows you to more naturally and honestly experience the places you go, really immerse yourself in the places.

      Traveling by bus takes longer, but it gives you more time to think deeply about the people and places around you, time to read, time to recharge. When you get to your destination your mind is clear and ready to focus on the experience without much mental baggage from work or home.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      35 days ago

      Games, books, music, and travel are all great hobbies to find people to tall about as well, though! You just have to find ways to make them social. Sitting and playing CoD alone or with random match making aren’t great ways to meet people, but getting involved in a discord server is a better way to meet people. Better still if you can find a local, in-person group that hosts meet-ups.

      But if you want to meet people amd make friends, you need to make time to meet people and form relationships with them.