Fuck. Was I always supposed to be able to get to sleep inside of ten minutes? What do you mean my attention is supposed to be like a searchlight that follows my eyes, and I’m not supposed to look through things? Why are all these objects in a pile distinct entities? I thought I had to use the ‘search’ function to return random loot from the pile? Why aren’t these random background noises filling me with a steady, seething rage?
I was just talking to my wife about this today. I started taking atomoxetine about a month ago. It isn’t instant the same way stimulants are so it’s been a steady, gradual change, but when I compare me today to me 3 months ago it honestly makes me want to cry. I made a doctors appointment today that I’ve been putting off for something the two years (it’s not something I really wanted to do and required I call to schedule it). But I stopped the video I was watching, made the call, and am going in about a week. I can clean up after a project now, I have the ability to just go do a task that needs done when it needs done. When it looked like I would not be able to get meds for a week or so I just couldn’t imagine going back to how I was before, I just refuse. I’m happier, more productive, and my marriage is better as we argue less over me not doing what she asked me to do because I forgot again. My push now is for my wife to schedule an evaluation since she is pretty sure she has inattentive type. I’m hoping seeing me be happier will help push her.