Okay this is gonna probably make absolutely zero sense, but I’m gonna try and explain:

(This might cause some brain damage and you might lose a few braincells from reading this)

For context, most of my family are US Citizens, we were all born in China.

My mom (and my dad, somewhat) is just so big on “Tough on crime”, whenever there were alleged lootings during protests, my parents would be okay with them getting shot to death. Constantly blame “Democrats” for crime and the “migrant crisis”. Also love their Wechat and constantly play (Chinese) nationalistic songs and other propaganda on the fucking speaker. Also, if you are dealing with severe depression, and temporarily can’t work, they call you a “廢柴”, basically the cantonese term equivalent of the term “useless eater”.

My brother is into some crazy conspiracy theory that the Chinese Government is in a conspiracy to replace Han Chinese with, not only Chinese ethnic minorities, but African Migrants (like wtf dude), basically the equivalent of the “white replacement conspiracy theory” but in China instead (yea it sounds insane, doesn’t it? Like… buddy, China doesn’t even give permanent residency to foreigners, what the fuck is this insane conspiracy theory? Also, he’s a US Citizen, why the fuck does he care?). Simultaneously, he opposes racism from white people in the US (… some crazy hypocrisy, isn’t it? 🤨).

Tell me this isn’t just me with the most insane family in the world.

  • @Tattorack
    19•5 days ago

    Well let’s see…

    • Father: Statue.
    • Stepfather: Conspiracy nut. Believes in a shadow government that strives to control everything while also already controlling everything. Good handyman with practical problem solving skills.
    • Mother: Conspiracy nut. Believes in ancient aliens, auras, magic healing crystals, animals doing telepathy for verbal communication, and an occult shadow government. Very creative person, but very little practical skills.
    • Little Brother #1 (mom’s side): Conspiracy nut. Believes in… Hard to tell. It keeps changing, but it’s some combination of shadow occults, god spirits, and completely misunderstanding quantum science. Also does drugs, and at some point believed to be the direct descendant of Thor.
    • Little Brother #2 (dad’s side): Completely bought into billionaire philanthropy. Believes people like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are highly intelligent good people who can’t be greedy because they already have everything. Likes listening to Joe Rogen. Prefers his gut feelings over demonstrated facts. Very creative person who thinks a lot and makes beats.
    • Little Sister #1: A very responsible person. Travels a lot. Probably the most mature from all my siblings. Is amazing at working in hospitality, and has gotten job offers from some pretty high profile hotels all over Europe.
    • Little Brother #3 (mom’s side): Looks like a tall, lanky hippie and is a botanist. Despite appearances, doesn’t believe and doesn’t care about hippie shit. He just likes plants. Also a D&D player.
    • Little Sister #2: Hard to tell. Used to be a rebel, now is just sort of “normal”. Just does basic things, like going to school, having a job…
    • Little Brother #4 (dad’s side): Terminally online no-life guy who hardly ever leaves his room, despite being a grown ass man at this point, but still behaves like a dank 16 year old. Sometimes I forget he’s in his 20s. American style right-winger living in Europe, complete with being casually racist and sexist about everything, despite never going out and actually meeting anyone. Has literally no skills or ambitions.

    Yeah… You know… I was about to say that my family isn’t batshit insane, but it seems like it is…

    • @[email protected]
      3•5 days ago

      What do you mean by statue?

      Also, what is your “batshit” thing? I find it interesting now that you have described a few of your family. :)

      • @Tattorack
        6•5 days ago

        He’s about as dense and flexible as a statue.

        I’m… Not sure? I guess I’m an artist. Trying to make that work in this capitalist dystopia is pretty batshit. I get by with my food delivery job and drawing art for furries.

          • @Tattorack
            1•4 days ago

            Yeah… The opposite happened, I’m afraid.

            Had to take on more hours from my delivery job to be able to pay for the insane rent prices here, which means I’m now really behind on my commission que, abd virtually never work on my own things anymore.

            I’ll be moving someplace with a cheaper rent price soon, but it’s not that much cheaper.