ChatGPT and all those LLMs are trained on many normal experiences and upbringings. If you don’t want the conversation saved you could also use it while not logged in. While they can make mistakes, you’ll learn these things sooner.
ChatGPT and all those LLMs are trained on many normal experiences and upbringings. If you don’t want the conversation saved you could also use it while not logged in. While they can make mistakes, you’ll learn these things sooner.
Boundaries
Boundaries are about respect, and it’s important to remember that there are two sets of boundaries, yours and theirs. They shouldn’t overlap. What are you comfortable with, what are they comfortable with. Don’t test boundaries on strangers, and don’t assume your boundaries are the same as others’. Likewise, communicate when someone else is encroaching on your boundaries. Protect them and advocate for yourself. Nobody else will.
Hygiene
Shower at least every other day, and anytime you exercise. It’s really common to go nose-blind to your own odor. If you get a whiff of yourself and think maybe you stink, everyone else can smell you all the time. You should bathe. Wash and brush or comb your hair. If you have a beard, wash and comb that, too. Wash your face, behind your ears, your armpits, your genitals, and your feet. Deodorant goes on after the shower to prevent body odor. It does not go on instead of a shower to mask body odor. Brush your teeth at least morning and night, and preferably after every meal. Bathing and scrubbing should not be painful, so if you’re scratching or irritating the skin, see a doctor. You can wash too much/too vigorously/too frequently. ETA: Wash your clothes, too. Jeans might get two or three days of wear, but wear fresh, clean underwear and socks every day. Gym clothes should be washed immediately, and if your shoes begin to smell, some baking soda and a few hours in the warm sun will do wonders.
Budgeting
Your take home pay is your budget. 50 / 30 / 20. 50% on needs, including housing, insurance, electricity, transportation, food and essentials. 30% on wants, like leisure activities, restaurants, alcohol and drugs, hobbies, etc. 20% should go to savings. If you have an unexpected expense, sacrifice wants first. Your savings should be protected when possible, but if you do have a large expense and need to dip into savings, prioritize replenishing that before you resume your normal hobbies.
Consent
No means no, and unconscious or drunk people cannot consent. Rule of thumb, if someone is unable to stand or speak normally, they are too drunk to make good decisions. Yes is not a permanent free pass, either. This applies whether you are seeking consent or granting it. You can always say no, and you should always accept no.
Manners
Manners are the formal recognition of boundaries. Being polite is how you demonstrate to someone else that you respect them and care about how they feel. Please makes it clear that you understand your request is asking them to provide some level of sacrifice, however small. Thank you demonstrates the gratitude you have for that sacrifice. Wait to eat until everyone has food, eat in a manner that does not disturb or distract other people eating, talk in a volume that does not disturb other people, all of the rules exist for a reason. Empathy, or thinking about how someone else feels in the moment, is the best guideline for good manners.
How to spot someone taking advantage of you
Are they being overly accommodating? Are they letting you make every decision? Do they rapidly change moods or set seemingly arbitrary boundaries? An example would be a romantic partner who always treats you to fancy things, but insists on avoiding their hometown or introducing you to people they know. They might be entirely unavailable for long periods of time, and then love-bomb you when they are available. If you question their behavior, they may get overly defensive, angry, and try to gaslight you into thinking you’ve imagined the red flags.
Trust is a two-way street.