• @BonesOfTheMoonOP
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    1 month ago

    That’s fine, but cheating on your wife isn’t nice and I’m going to say so, and neither is abusing much younger women. Young women have been murdered in violent BDSM relationships. It’s honestly toxic in my opinion. Which I know isn’t popular, but also don’t groom young women and cheat on your wife.

    • a Kendrick fan
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      61 month ago

      but cheating on your wife isn’t nice

      i understand the sentimental writeup but there was no requirement to be nice, only scaring and unsettling facts

    • Flying Squid
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      41 month ago

      And after what happened with Neil Gaiman, I have to wonder how consensual such situations like this are. In fact, I originally thought this was a Neil Gaiman reference, but he’s 64.

      • @WilderSeek
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        61 month ago

        I would be more hopeful to believe it was consensual was except they bragged their wife doesn’t know. I’ve been in enough situations through chats to learn people like this exist and managed to abuse others—even virtually. There can be healthy relationships in BDSM, but the community often attracts predators for a reason.

        • @captainlezbian
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          31 month ago

          And the people who are only online and not telling their spouse are significantly more likely to be predators. I’m not saying irl communities don’t have predators, they absolutely do, I’ve been abused by someone I met through one, but being part of irl communities means that if you get reported as an abuser (and the community comes to the conclusion that the report is valid) you can’t just change your username and show up to the same events and spaces

        • Flying Squid
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          31 month ago

          Right, it was the much younger women and not telling his wife parts that made me a little concerned about how consensual the relationships are.

      • @BonesOfTheMoonOP
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        11 month ago

        I’ve been reading court cases lately of sexual assault cases that happened in BDSM relationship contexts as a result of Gaiman on the Canlii website. There’s a lot of nonconsensual behaviour by the men charged, and one even left a woman in a collar in his basement when she didn’t want to and she died in there. I don’t have a lot of faith in consent in those relationships. And I think they’re disgusting to be honest. Get therapy.

        • Flying Squid
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          11 month ago

          Yeah. I am sure there are plenty of women who are actually into BDSM, but this just feels creepy and disturbing to me with the way he is putting it. Which I guess is the point of the thread, but it still feels like I’m reading the confession of a rapist who doesn’t realize that’s what they’re confessing to.

          I sure hope I’m wrong.

          • @BonesOfTheMoonOP
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            11 month ago

            There was this pair in my province who in 2012 met on FetLife because of a shared interest in rape fantasies. So after doing things to each other for a while, they ended up snatching this poor young teacher walking home one night, raping and killing her, and are in prison forever. I grew up with the Ken and Barbie killers, Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka, in my city and attended a victim’s funeral. They killed Karla’s little sister so they could rape her. They filmed the rapes of all their victims. Bernardo was also a serial rapist in Scarborough.

            I don’t care what people do in their sex lives. I think it’s important to have an off button and self control, and if you’re preying upon young women and cheating on your spouse like the dude above, you’re just a predator.