I’m a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.
About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I’m not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn’t able to live on my own anymore.
Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven’t been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don’t see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.
Even though my family knows all that and I’m crying out for help, no one is helping me. I’ve lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that’s it. I tried my very best but realized that I’m just not capable to live on my own.
And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.
They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.
I don’t understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.
I don’t get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?
I don’t wanna talk to anyone while I’m living with my parents and am in this miserable situation.
But even if I would ever get out of here I don’t have anyone to talk to. I went to like 5 different high schools since they put me into facilities at different locations in my teens.
Before I got taken away from home I had so many friends as a kid and literally met friends every single day. But over the years I lost contact to every single one of them and haven’t talked to them in many years.
I’m generally not a guy who keeps friends for their lifetime. It was never that deep. When I went to a new school I had these friends for a few months and then never talked to them again.
Why do you have to wait until you aren’t living with your parents?
It’s blocking me. It’s like I’m not worthy enough when I still live here. And living here makes me feel so uncomfortable I wouldn’t be able to talk to someone. I’m even afraid to leave my room because I could encounter my dad.
Those thoughts aren’t true but I understand having mental blocks.
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