I’m a 21 year old guy and struggle with depression for my whole life because of traumatic things I experienced from my parents.
About 2 years ago I completely lost all my spirit and willingness in life. I fell into this dark hole where I’m not able to do anything on my own anymore and had to move back to my parents since I wasn’t able to live on my own anymore.
Since then I spent the full 2 years completely alone in my room every single day and haven’t been outside or met anyone since. I only get outside maybe once a month to buy groceries but except from that I don’t see the world anymore, have no activities to do and live with pure hopelessness, no money and very little food.
Even though my family knows all that and I’m crying out for help, no one is helping me. I’ve lived in many facilities before, went to therapy and have a psychiatrist but all they do is talk but that’s it. I tried my very best but realized that I’m just not capable to live on my own.
And then all my parents do (especially my father) is treating me the same way like when I was a kid that caused my depression in the first place by letting out their dissatisfaction/frustration with themselves on me and baselessly blaming/criticizing me for every little thing. And all that is just making it so much worse and harder for me to get out of the situation.
They let me suffer in hell until I go insane or die.
I don’t understand why this world is so cruel. It feels like no one cares about people who suffer.
I don’t get that. If I was better off and knew someone in such a situation I would do everything to help them and give them what they need. Why is no one helping and just let you suffer like that?
Some people don’t like to consider the fact that being a completely functional human being as per standard imaginary standards is hard work. So hard that few can actually make it work.
Most people don’t fit the standard. We are incomplete. And the parts that are missing get filled with vices of ever increasing atrocity.
The saying that “everyone’s got something to hide” is correct and what we try to hide are our failings.
So to answer your question, most people can barely take care of themselves. If you can’t cope with yourself, what incentive would anyone have to take on your burden and possibly be crippled by its weight in the process?
People come together to share each other’s burdens, to form a sturdy bridge that can ease their suffering. But this implies that both sides have a foundation to stand on. Instead of you have just one leg of the bridge carrying all the weight, it’s bound to come down without a doubt.
So you need to find your foundation or build one. Have something to stand on then seek out groups for mutual aid. There you will help each other to improve and reduce the hole that’s making you feel incomplete.
Now about parenthood. It’s exhausting. Not everyone is cut out for it. It takes time, energy and money for years on end. It can destroy a person mentally and physically.
I don’t know you nor your parents, but from your words, they aren’t all that much better than yourself. Only anger found its way into filling some of that hole that plagues us all. They might have each other for support, but if either of them falls, the other will crash soon after. So don’t begrudge them too much, they’re as human as you are.
Living ain’t easy. Not one bit. But the rewards are evident in those we envy.