let me tell you i am literally like jesus

i mean hear me out i am constantly battling the devil and Hes always trying to take ahold of me and lead me astray its like He knows im a threat to His evil plans and Hell stop at nothing to get me

for example

He tries to get ahold of me when im at the grocery store He tries to make me go down the snack aisle and im just there for some bread and eggs and here comes the devil whispering in my ear telling me to get cupcakes again

also whenever my hot cousin visits the devil always tries to get ahold of me then too and makes me think evil thoughts and tries to get me to do things that i know are wrong but i have to resist

even my own nephew is not immune to the devils influence

he was trying to get me to switch to the dark side by telling me that the democrats arent so bad and that maybe i should consider voting for them but i was like no way nephew i know thats just the devil talking through you

its a constant battle

but im not going to give up im going to keep fighting the good fight and spreading the truth no matter what the devil throws my way and i will not be silenced like jesus was

  • Not Chad McTruthOPM
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    53 days ago

    okay but i get the bottom halves except for daniel you can have his bottom half

    1000007999

    • fxomt
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      3 days ago

      where is abraham you cheapskate

      i want the BIG fish and i like them BIG and PLUMP

      • Not Chad McTruthOPM
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        53 days ago

        oh man you think abraham is a bigger fish than these four guys but he didnt even deliver extensive written prophecies or messages to large audiences he only received personal revelations from god and acted on them with his role emphasizing faith and covenant whereas the prophets ive shared with you so far made public proclamations and authored extensive prophetic writings in fact you can have 100% of abraham because he reminds me of lincoln and lincoln felt it was okay to suspend habeas corpus so i hate him

        • fxomt
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          22 days ago

          counterpoint he had so much sex that he was the father of two races jews and arabs 😎 abraham is my daddy

          how much sex did they have??? thats what i thougt leberal

          • Not Chad McTruthOPM
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            32 days ago

            good argument i take it back i want at least 75% of abraham

              • Not Chad McTruthOPM
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                32 days ago

                this deal is acceptable to me its been a pleasure doing business with you

                • fxomt
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                  22 days ago

                  thank you its very important for a son to own his fathers peniles

                  • Not Chad McTruthOPM
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                    2 days ago

                    oh shit that probably means our grandchildren are the time traveling deepstate liberals after our manhood the ones what who gave me and my father and his father before him what you called a circumsision