As a baby I was born with a pituitary issue which meant my hands and feet were abnormally small. They never grew that large at all. I can run and walk fine and they’re not deformed or anything, just tiny. I might have some weird world record for smallest hands and feet on a fully grown adult!
Even at just five bucks a shoe, that’s $170 every time you go shoe shopping. Brutal. OP’s wife must be 4.25 octopuses.
Octopuses wouldn’t wear shoes so the math doesn’t add up.
Now spiders—spiders would wear some stylish kicks you know, not just any $5 shoe.
Fucksake you two, octopii wear wellies