Alien: Greetings, human. I am Zorkon of the Galaxotron Empire. We have come to conquer your planet and enslave humanity. Bow before our superior might!
Human: [laughs] Oh, Zorkon, you crack me up! Conquer us? Enslave us? Ha! That’s a good one.
Alien: I don’t understand. Why are you laughing? This is a serious invasion!
Human: Oh, I get it. But really, your timing couldn’t be worse. We’re already dealing with wildfires, melting ice caps, never-ending politics, and—have you seen our to-do lists? They’re terrifying!
Alien: But we have advanced technology! We will strip your planet of its natural resources!
Human: Strip our planet of natural resources? Newsflash, we’ve been doing that ourselves. Timber, oil, coal—you name it!
Alien: We will poison your water and pollute your air!
Human: Poison our water? Pollute our air? Ever heard of industrial waste and smog? We’ve got that covered, thanks.
Alien: We will make you work until you are old and frail!
Human: Make us work till we’re old? We call that ‘retirement age’ around here. By then, we’re barely standing anyway.
Alien: Our rule will be harsh! You will live in fear and despair!
Human: Fear and despair? Welcome to the 21st century, Zorkon. We’ve been binge-watching those since 2016. Honestly, if you’re here to conquer, you might want to bring a sense of humor. You’re gonna need it!
Alien: [confused] Perhaps we should have researched this planet a bit more…
Alien: Greetings, human. I am Zorkon of the Galaxotron Empire. We have come to conquer your planet and enslave humanity. Bow before our superior might!
Human: [laughs] Oh, Zorkon, you crack me up! Conquer us? Enslave us? Ha! That’s a good one.
Alien: I don’t understand. Why are you laughing? This is a serious invasion!
Human: Oh, I get it. But really, your timing couldn’t be worse. We’re already dealing with wildfires, melting ice caps, never-ending politics, and—have you seen our to-do lists? They’re terrifying!
Alien: But we have advanced technology! We will strip your planet of its natural resources!
Human: Strip our planet of natural resources? Newsflash, we’ve been doing that ourselves. Timber, oil, coal—you name it!
Alien: We will poison your water and pollute your air!
Human: Poison our water? Pollute our air? Ever heard of industrial waste and smog? We’ve got that covered, thanks.
Alien: We will make you work until you are old and frail!
Human: Make us work till we’re old? We call that ‘retirement age’ around here. By then, we’re barely standing anyway.
Alien: Our rule will be harsh! You will live in fear and despair!
Human: Fear and despair? Welcome to the 21st century, Zorkon. We’ve been binge-watching those since 2016. Honestly, if you’re here to conquer, you might want to bring a sense of humor. You’re gonna need it!
Alien: [confused] Perhaps we should have researched this planet a bit more…
Yunz both oughta read Childhood’s End.