Really depends on what I eat. Beans? Mediocre, the kind of fart that you know exactly what to expect and it’s entirely mid. Brocoli? Might as well call Greta Thunberg, because those one’s are probably cleaner than the air I breathe.

Now clams? Hoo boy. Those are the kind of farts that not only am I proud of, I want to forcefully share that pride with others.