My 14-year-old sister Lena has made a friend who is constantly picking on Lena for the slightest things, calling her weird, screaming at her in social situations and in athletics, saying she is useless, etc. [my sister has mobility issues and asthma as well]
Fortunately, Lena told me that she and another friend of hers stopped hanging out with the friend but the teachers still want her paired up with this girl? (No one else will hang out with Lena’s friend because her friend group is preppy and very cliquey)
The friend is also doing the classic “You can’t be friends with those girls and leave me, they don’t like you/understand you like I do. I’m the only one who will accept you.”
Yeah, I don’t really know how to help as I don’t go to her school and I’m obviously several years older than her
So, all I have is your bias story to go on, (sorry but there’s no objectivity to pull from a one sided story) but if you’re right, it sounds like this “friend” has something resembling a narcicistic personality disorder or something like it. If that’s true, it’s something to worry about. People with a condition like this tend to lure you in with kindness, force you to do stuff for them with the so called “kindness” as leverage, but at the same time destroying you by feeding negativity to you and the people around you about you, to maintain control over you by playing with you insecurities. And with “you”, I mean your sister in this case. Your sister will just be a pawn in their game to get status, attention, control, which will result in your sister getting hurt a lot and them moving on onto another victim.
But there’s a chance this is all wrong, again, I’m basing it only on your story. I don’t know if you are seeing everything which is happening clearly. Cases like this are always very difficult.
Maybe you can advice your sister not to get too dependent and attached on this “friend” and to be careful. And be there for her when it goes south. Don’t judge her, she’s a victim. Be supportive. Other than that, I doubt there’s anything you can do. It’s something which will have to play out as long as your sister isn’t ready to take her distance. It will be a hard life lesson, but a valuable one. Prep her with your insight, let her make the choice.
That’s my advice.
That makes sense. I mean, my sister has shown me messages from her and this friend, where the friend does indeed admit to doing this, but says “Yeah, well I only do this to people who deserve it” and stuff about people being useless.
Thanks so much, though :)
Wow, wtf. That’s not narcicism, a narcicist doesn’t acknowledge it. That’s rly fucked up. Wtf is wrong with that person. Get them some mental help. That’s seriously fucked up.
Yeah… I’m not sure, she seems to acknowledge the behavior but doesn’t seem to acknowledge the severity, impact, or morality of it.