Currently on vacation with our almost 3 years old daughter in Costa Rica. I feel like I haven’t really gotten to explore this country as I usually like to on my own terms. The activities that we do find for her, often are a failure resulting in a melt down and she just wants to go back to the hotel. She doesn’t even want to play on the beach or at the pool. This trip in Costa Rica she’s been a complete home body, trips outside have been a melt down. So this leads me to the main question.

Does it get easier as they get older? Please tell me it gets easier…

We’ve done a fair bit of traveling with her already. Cabo when she was 10 months old, visiting family members in NY, MA and SC multiple times per year. She’s a great flyer, so no worries there. But when we’re at the destination, everything is very much centered and catered to her. I get it, she’s a toddler.

Photography is a hobby of mine, but it’s impossible to do any sort of composition with a camera while a wiggling child is hanging off my shoulder. We have grandparents traveling with us this trip, and they’ve sometimes been helpful for an hour or two but…man kids are a lot of work. I may need to work with my partner on building in a solo vacation for myself occasionally because traveling to new places with a kid kind of sucks.

Rant over.

  • @pdxfed
    5•8 hours ago

    It’s a bit tricky to answer your prompt depending on what exactly you’re looking for with “better”:

    • every child is different as you know, but accepting that what other parents/kids can do at even the same age and expecting your child to manage/perform the same is folly. Your child at 3 is ages ahead of others being able to fly successfully.
    • I think of trips in terms of who they are for, and sometimes something that a parent wants or needs (which are still valid) is not something a child at x age can enjoy, appreciate, engage in, etc. if I want to go on a backpacking trip with a 5y/o, understand it’ll probably be miserable and leave them out. If you need time to photograph, be an adult and not take care of the constant needs of a little one for a few days or more, it’s OK to block out the time for an experience without them. It’s as normal as not taking them to a bar to meet your friends to catch up for a drink; it’s not for them and they don’t make sense there.
    • combined trips with kids are fun, but you have to weigh what is for them and what isn’t. We try to do a balance and sometimes are pretty successful. We have had success getting our child to enjoy things other kids their age might not, but it’s not a guarantee or a competition, it’s pretty organic and is usually built over time
    • speaking of “built over time”, one of the biggest things is to know your kid. Do they like to look at pictures on their own? Paint? Then you can probably make a museum work and can engage them in the content in some ways, but yes it’ll be very different than discussing with an adult only at the museum.
    • Whatever your vacation/trip/activity I’d just try to have in my head who is getting what out of it, and communicate/acknowledge it from the start–though frankly 3 is young to be able to have a mid emotionally appreciate “the next 2 hours at the museum for mom/Dad is because there is a great exhibit with my favorite artist” type conversations. If they aren’t ready for that, still go, but you can’t take them and expect the kid to miraculously be ready for it and not be themselves and their age. You mentioned the 3 year old not appreciating hanging out on the beach…they don’t work or go to school so lying around is boring for them while it’s vital for older people.

    Overall, know your needs and your kid’s, your kids emotional state, interests and maturity level and plan accordingly. If the child isn’t ready for certain things, it’s your job as a parent to make that call for their and your benefit. You’ll enjoy what you need and have more energy to appreciate activities with them where their needs lie when you do things in their space.